IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people prefer to live in a small town. Others prefer to live in a big city. Which place would you prefer to live in? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

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People have different views about their living preferences. Some people prefer to live in large
cities
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,
while
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 others choose to live in small
towns
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. Personally, I would rather choose the big
cities
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, and I will explain my reasons behind it.
Initially
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, big
cities
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 provide various
job
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 openings that give individuals the opportunity to succeed. A metropolis often has many
facilities
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, educational institutions, and training centres, which make it a large pool
for
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of
show examples
 skilled workers, making it attractive for businesses to hire.
For example
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, fashion majors are in high demand in the
job
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 market, but it’s challenging for them to find a
job
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 for their major in villages.
Additionally
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, salaries in big
cities
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 are higher.
This
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 is because of the competition for top talent in sectors that require specialisation,
such
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 as technology, finance, and health care. The demand for skilled workers in these sectors drives up wages.
Furthermore
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,
cities
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 are equipped with modern
facilities
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 that we need, which may not be available in small
towns
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. Which makes our lives easier and safer in some ways. To illustrate, in my city, many of the injured are transferred from villages to my city's hospitals because the necessary equipment is not available to treat the injury, which may aggravate the condition or lead to death.
Moreover
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, there are other entertainment
facilities
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 that you can enjoy.
In particular
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, there are hundreds of coffee shops, gyms, shopping centres, and many more.
On the contrary
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, small
towns
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 may not have as many enjoyable
facilities
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 as big
cities
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.
To sum up
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,
although
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 living in small
towns
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 has its benefits that make some people choose to live in them, I would rather live in a big city where
job
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 opportunities with higher salaries and advanced
facilities
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, to lead a more prosperous life.

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task achievement
Your essay does a good job of addressing the prompt and providing specific reasons to support your preference for living in a big city. However, consider adding more specific examples to strengthen your arguments further.
coherence cohesion
While the logical structure of your essay is effective, try to vary your sentence structures to enhance the flow. For example, combining shorter sentences when they convey related ideas could improve cohesion.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction clearly states your preference and sets up the essay well.
task achievement
You provide strong reasoning for your preference with clear ideas about job opportunities and modern facilities.
introduction conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your stance and ties the essay together neatly.
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