Many people assume that the goal of every country should be to produce more materials and goods. To what extent do you agree or disagree that constantly increasing production is an appropriate goal?

These days, it seems the emphasis on the
quantity
of goods has surpassed their quality. There remains some disagreement as to whether it is a positive or negative development.
While
there are valid arguments to the contrary, in
this
essay I would contend that there are more crucial issues like
education
as well as
the environment to be prioritized. The reasons for
this
are as follows. First of all, evident is the fact that neglecting
education
, which nurtures specialized workforces would pose some challenges in the process of manufacturing. A salient example of
this
is Japan, as its concentration on
education
, has enabled it to rank first in producing the most prominent products for global markets.
Thus
, rather than paying attention to
quantity
, emphasizing
education
could lead to manufacturing superior goods in the long term.
Secondly
and even more importantly should be preserving the environment and saving it for the upcoming generations. it is obvious that having produced a high
quantity
of goods, which entails harnessing natural resources, the depletion of natural resources is likely to occur. Taking Africa as an example, deforestation for industrial purposes, extracting from mines and overfishing have disrupted the natural ecosystem significantly. So, prior to producing any
further
material, valuing bringing up educated individuals and assessing geographical capabilities should be compulsory. By way of conclusion, valuing
education
as well as
the environment as valuable assets is crucial for achieving higher production.
Whereas
, putting excessive emphasis on
such
superficial issues like numbers or
quantity
would undermine the authenticity of the producer country and
disrupte
Correct your spelling
disrupt
disrupted
the ecological order.
Submitted by golriiz23 on

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The essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the prompt, effectively addressing the question of whether increasing production is an appropriate goal.
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Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively bookend the essay, providing a clear standpoint and summarizing the main points convincingly.
Task Achievement
You have supported your main points with relevant and specific examples, such as the references to Japan and Africa, which strengthens your argument.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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