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Writing Samples
Band 6

Tipping is a common practice at restaurants in many countries. Some people believe tipping is a great way to show service workers you appreciate them, while others believe it should be the responsibility of the boss or company to pay their workers. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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There is a common ongoing debate about whether tipping should be given by
customers
Use synonyms
 or employers.
While
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 a significant number of people believe that paying extra
money
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 to
service
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workers
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 is a good sign that demonstrates the
service
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 was good, others argue that restaurant owners should pay
this
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money
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 to their
workers
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. I strongly believe that tipping should remain
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customers'
Correct article usage
the customers'
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 responsibility because they can pay extra
money
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 for their satisfaction
that
Correct pronoun usage
, which
show examples
 increases employees' income,
whereas
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 restaurants can only pay small percentages based on
workers
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'
salaries
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. On the one hand, paying extra
money
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 for the
service
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 received in a restaurant has a great impact on
workers
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' lives.
This
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 is because their
salaries
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 are very low, but a tip can boost their financial situations by
receving
Correct your spelling
receiving
 more
money
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 than their base
salaries
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 through the satisfaction of visitors.
For instance
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, in Canada, tipping has become a widely accepted social norm, allowing
service
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workers
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 to significantly supplement their income.
Therefore
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, tipping triggers a considerable increase in
workers
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' revenue
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while
Punctuation problem
, while
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 their base salary doesn't allow them to live at a high standard level.
On the other hand
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, one of the common
belief
Fix the agreement mistake
beliefs
show examples
 is that restaurants should take responsibility for paying
salaries
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 at a standard level. The main reason is that
customers
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 place an order based on the menu prices;
however
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, when they finish their plates, they see different prices that place a strain on their budgets
due to
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 tipping. To illustrate, in Montreal, many restaurants strongly expect
customers
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 to leave a tip after the meal, which can create financial pressure, especially for those on a tight budget.
Thus
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, visitors not only feel under pressure but
also
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 cannot calculate the exact amount of
money
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 they are going to pay. In conclusion,
although
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 some people believe that tipping should be paid by restaurant owners, I firmly maintain that
customers
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' tipping is a main source of income for
workers
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, as their base salary is very low.
While
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 social expectations encourage
customers
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 to tip,
this
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 practice still allows them to directly reward
workers
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 for good
service
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.

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task response
Make your own view more fair and fully explained. You say customers should tip because workers need more money, but this can also mean bosses pay too little. Explain why customer tips are still better than a higher pay from the restaurant.
task response
Develop each main point with one more clear step. For example, say that tips can push workers to give kind, fast service, and explain why this is good for both workers and customers.
task response
Be careful with broad claims such as “their salaries are very low” and “restaurants can only pay small percentages”. These may not be true in every country. Use softer words, such as “in some places” or “often”.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the two sides equally clear. The first body paragraph says tips help workers, while the second says surprise tip costs hurt customers. Add a clear link that shows these are two different results of the same system.
coherence and cohesion
Some lines repeat the same idea about workers getting more money. Use that space to add a new reason or a short example instead.
coherence and cohesion
Fix small joining issues so the flow is smoother. For example, write “income. Therefore,” with a space after the full stop, and use “a common belief” rather than “one of the common belief”.
task response
You discuss both views and clearly give your own view in the start and at the end.
task response
Your Canada and Montreal examples are linked to the main ideas and help make the points clear.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear four-part plan: opening, first view, second view, and ending.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, “For instance”, and “Thus” help the reader follow your ideas.
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