IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#countries #people #health #food #governments #tax
Around the globe, diseases regarding malnutrition have increased notably in the
last
 decades because of wrong eating habits. In my opinion, it is the government who should implement measures to improve citizens’
health
 and I certainly agree that incrementing the taxes on fast
food
 is essential to improve people’s nutritional habits. Junk
food
 is harmful to people’s
health
. To illustrate, eating salty, fried, artificially sweetened and coloured
food
 has been proven to cause several illnesses like high blood pressure, obesity, hormonal disorders, digestive diseases, and even cancer.
Nevertheless
, people chose
fast
Suggestion
the fast food
food
 daily, not only because of its availability in every market or restaurant in town, but
also
 for its affordable price. These are some of the reasons why many people choose to eat junk
food
 while they are at work and even buy it for their children. It is very important that people in healthcare, and by
this
 I mean not only doctors, but especially the government, apply measures to improve people’s nutritional aspects. One way of achieving
this
 could be by applying or increasing taxes for every product that does not meet specific
health
 standards like low salt, low fat, organic and no sugar added. Another measure taken could be to improve education around nutritional aspects at kindergarten, school, and work environments. By doing
this
, people could understand the consequences of eating artificial meals
in contrast
 to homemade
food
 and change their nutritional habits. In conclusion, it is the government’s responsibility to improve our well being in every aspect in which
health
 is understood. Preventing diseases related to bad eating habits are an essential goal and should be achieved mainly by making it more difficult to produce and buy harmful
food
.
Submitted by claramorin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: