We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#world #communities #countries

Some people believe that we should

support

people in other

countries while

Accept comma addition

countries, while

in our own society has a range of certain issues. I disagree with

this

opinion because I believe that we should focus on problems in our communities and societies. The possibilities to

support

everyone

around the world are seemingly impossible because everybody has their own issues, in order to help

everyone

that you need to resolve their own problems respectively, perhaps ten issues, hundred issues or even a thousand different issues.

Furthermore

, the distinction between culture, language, distance,

behavioral

of or relating to behavior

behavioural

society, especially personal ability and so on, in which that might cause you the significant challenges even it seems slightly unrealistic.

For example

, an American doctor, he is unlikely to be able to treat a person who got Covid-19 in Viet Nam by their own ability

instead

of another Vietnamese person by sending them to the local specialized hospital. Apart from the practical concerns expressed above, I

also

believe that it would be far more realistic when we are likely to help people in our communities and particularly in our possibility. It is mostly because, we might understand clear-cut problems of those people who we are going to

support

, what they need to help, and how can we help them significantly and productively. In

this

way, we may not facing the barriers about language, culture and

that is

also

necessary

Suggestion

for

everyone

in our country.

With

Suggestion

the same concrete

example has

Accept comma addition

example, has

mentioned above, I am

surely

Suggestion

sure

that Vietnamese patients who will get much better by

treatment process

Suggestion

a treatment process

the treatment process

of Vietnamese doctors rather than an American expert or any other foreigner doctor. In conclusion, we are willing to

support

everyone

around the world,

However

it would be far more both necessary and practical when we help people in our neighbours and citizens.

Submitted by Tiến Hùng on Thu Jun 25 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

301 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

global interconnectivity
international cooperation
ethics
moral obligation
geographical borders
diplomatic relations
economic stability
global security
resource allocation
expertise
international aid
dependency and development
sustainable solutions
local and global initiatives
community resilience

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We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadyas, many medical research projects are funded by private companies. In your opinion, do you think that research should be carried by private companies, individuals or governent? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Some people think that a person improves their intellectual skills more when doing group activities. To what extent do you agree? Use specific details and examples to explain your view.

Many people believe that reducing speed limits is the best option for road safety improvement .do you think there are other measures that could be put in place? what are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Innovation is often driven by the pursuit of profit and economic growth. However, some argue that it should prioritize addressing social and environmental issues. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Some people feel that governments should take a large portion of people's salaries to pay for necessary public services such as roads and schools. Others feel that high taxes are a bad thing. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.