IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe the government should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

People
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 hold different opinions from the angle of diversification and dimensions. Some
people
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 consider building the
Metro
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 and the Train lines system to be an efficient
way
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 to solve
traffic
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 jams.
In contrast
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, others contemplate constructing more
roads
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 may bring up an efficient resolution to reduce
traffic
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 congestion. In the essay, I will discuss both views and deploy my opinion. On the one hand, building the Trains and
Metro
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 lines makes it easier to access other counties or cities.
This
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 is a fantastic
way
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 to meet the needs of passengers and enhance their convenience. To illustrate, Taipei is one of the well-known cities that reduced
traffic
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 issues by constructing the
Metro
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 system, thanks to its time-saving routes and accessibility of connecting each crowded area.
Moreover
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, using public
transportation
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 indeed solves the issue of
traffic
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 congestion.
Therefore
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, there is no doubt that public
transportation
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,
such
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 as connecting underground or overground lines, definitely creates an effective
way
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 to decrease the possibility of
traffic
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 problems.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 possess different perspectives. In terms of constructing
roads
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 to reduce the amount of
traffic
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 matters.
For instance
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, Yuanlin Broadway was built to provide convenient ways and multiple choices for drivers because
this
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 road is accessible with numerous paths to other counties, leading to a better time-saving
transportation
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 process.
Besides
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, wider
roads
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 are able to accommodate the growing number of vehicles.
Hence
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, building widening pathways can
also
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 improve the obstacle of transport. In conclusion, either constructing The
Metro
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 and The train or building
roads
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 is an efficient and effective
way
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 to revamp
traffic
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 trouble. From my perspective, it depends on
people
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's preference for
transportation
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 modes,
as well as
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 the assessment of the feasibility of these transporting ways in a specific region. Yet both methods of solving
traffic
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 complications are potent.

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task achievement
While your essay provides a basic structure with an introduction, discussion of both perspectives, and a conclusion, it lacks a clear thesis statement that directly addresses your opinion on the issue, which is crucial for the IELTS task response criteria. Consider clearly stating your viewpoint in the introduction and reiterating it in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates some ability to logically organize your thoughts, with paragraphing present and ideas generally flowing from one to the next. However, the transitions between ideas can be improved for better coherence. Employ more cohesive devices such as linking words and phrases to ensure a smoother flow of ideas throughout the essay.
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