IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

It is difficult for many people to create a balance between their professional and their personal life. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem?

#people #balance #life
As we know capitalism is dominant lots of world countries nowadays. According to capitalism, the one, who works hard, will gain a lot.
Therefore many
Accept comma addition
Therefore, many
 people give themselves completely to their
work
 and do not bother with the idea of
work
-life balance. The primary cause of the phenomenon is a lack of a clearly defined
time
 frame for
work
, and the most viable solution is a discuss the issue with family members and HR Manager. Many employers avoid to set limited working day for their employees, trying in every possible way to persuade the employee to accept the benefits of an irregular working day. These working conditions are advantageous for managers of large companies due to the large volume of tasks, especially if employees are located in different
time
 zones.
However
,
as a result
 of the arrangement, the employee faces long overworking that takes up the remaining
time
 of his private life. And according to the latest international sociological survey, frequent delays after
work
 and continuing the
work
 process at home are the main reasons for family divorce.
This
 is the reason why Russian President Vladimir Putin got divorced in 2013. A permanent solution to the predicament is a determination of convenient
work
 schedule with close relatives and an agreement about the limited working day with the personnel manager. Since the family man spends most of his non-working
time
 with family, the opinion of family members is important in the matter. And in order for
this
 leisure activity not to be spoiled, the head of the family together with his supervisor must make changes to the employment contract about the
work
 schedule, bringing
work
 home and refusing
work
 calls during non-working hours.
For example
, my colleague managed to negotiate
this
 with his supervisor, and now he turns off his
work
 phone after clocking off. In conclusion, there are more and more workaholics around the world every year because of their mistakes in the
time
 management’s own life. And it is only thanks to the coordinated
work
 of the family together with the HR service that it is possible to restore the balance between the demands of their
work
 and personal life.
Submitted by Nikita on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: