Some people believe that environmental issues should be the first priority of humanity in the 21th century. To what extent do you agree with the view expressed?

Many individuals think that the natural environment should be prioritised in contemporary society. I partly agree, because of the extent to which climate change is affecting people today, but I
also
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believe in a balanced approach that considers other conundrums too. The supporters of the first view believe in addressing the effects of environmental issues so as to reduce the damage and create sustainable natural futures. Problems
such
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as climate change,
for example
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, have led to debilitating
challenges
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such
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as high temperatures and glaciation. Seasonal changes are evident in places
such
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as Australia, where winters are not cold,
while
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they were traditionally hot;
likewise
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, you cannot be sure about when to expect rain, as we no longer have a rainy season.
Therefore
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, it makes sense to invest more resources into understanding and addressing climate change in society.
On the other hand
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,
however
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, humanity must not neglect other
challenges
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which are equally detrimental. Globalisation has brought new forms of
challenges
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that require immediate and global effort to eradicate. COVID-19 exemplifies
this
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well,
due to
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the nature in which it brought the entire world to a standstill, causing catastrophic deaths, preventing mobility and coercing people into social distancing.
Hence
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,
while
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addressing the environment, there is a need to
also
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invest attention in other global
challenges
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such
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as health, migration, and poverty. In conclusion,
therefore
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,
while
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some people believe that environmental issues should be the first priority of humanity in the 21st century, I believe in a balanced approach. I partly agree that humanity should pay close attention to nature, but, just as they
also
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do to public health, migration, poverty and other pressing contemporary
challenges
Use synonyms
.

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task response
State your view clearly in the opening line and restate it in the last line.
task response
Make each paragraph hold one main idea and give one or two simple examples to support it.
coherence
Explain how each example helps your point, and keep the flow clear from one idea to the next.
language use
Use plain words; avoid odd or long phrases that can slow the reading.
structure
You show a plan with four parts: intro, two body, and conclusion.
content
You give a view that has some logic, not just many facts.
structure
You use linking words to show contrast and order.
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