Deforestation caused by human activity is happening in many parts of the world, with serious results for the enviroment. What do you think can be done to solve this problem?
These days, the number of
people
who live on Earth has been leaping; moreover
, they need not only devices but also
residential areas; as a result
, they are solving these matters by destroying jungles; furthermore
, this
work has negative effects on the environment. I advise that solving this
problem by changing our houses
and declining spaces of industries.
On the one hand, Today, we need a lot
of space for human accommodations owing to the fact that most international inhabitants live in houses
with large yards; however
, these people
should live in flats which have a lot
of floors due to
the fact that our experiment about building tower is more than past and we are having long hotels, towers, and others which are very resistant from earth quicks, typhoons, and other evidence. In addition
, when populations live in apartments; hence
, we do not have to destroy forests to build residential places. For example
, we can see a large number of people
live in metropolises and a large percentage of them live in apartments for instance
, Tehran, which is Iran's capital, has around 20 million citizens and this
city is large but does not have a lot
of space, so we can see most communities lives in apartments.
On the other hand
, governments and businessmen build both manufactures which need a massive sector and offices ; nevertheless
, It is important that they are dipping these regions by working their employees in their houses
and building just places for essential tools. To illustrate, people
who live in China, which is the second country that has a large society, work in their houses
on account of the fact that this
country does not have a lot
of regions for building huge factories.
In conclusion, the environment is the main reason for living; therefore
, it is crucial that we save it by reducing deforestation in declining districts which we need for our work and lives.Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on
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introduction conclusion present
Your introduction presents the problem, but it could be clearer. Consider simplifying and clarifying the sentences for better readability.
logical structure
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Currently, some sentences disrupt the flow of your argumentation.
supported main points
Your main points are valid, but you should elaborate more on them and support them with stronger, more specific evidence.
clear comprehensive ideas
Consider providing more detailed examples and evidence to support your claims. This would help to make your essay more convincing.
complete response
To achieve task response, it's important to address all parts of the prompt. Try to explore a wider range of solutions to the problem of deforestation.
supported main points
You have identified valid points regarding housing and industrial space as solutions to deforestation.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your essay demonstrates a genuine concern for the environment and presents a practical set of ideas.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.