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Band 4.5

Parents or other adult relatives should make important decisions for their (13 to 19 year-old) teenage children.

#parents #adult #relatives #decisions #children
With the changing time, a paradigm shift has been observed that the way of people living changed. In the
past most
Accept comma addition
past, most
 of the
decision
 was taken by the parents and
old
Suggestion
older
 people for young
ones but
Accept comma addition
ones, but
 in today’s era, mostly youngster
take
Suggestion
takes
 their
decision
 by themselves like the most pivotal
decision
 of choosing their
career
 If young ones choose their
career
 by own it creates interest among them and provide the satisfaction in future.
Moreover
, there are greater chances to become successful in their
life
 because they have
interest
Suggestion
an interest
 in the work.
For example
, a recent survey conducted by an organization illustrates the result that the numbers of people success in its
life
 who choose their
career
 in younger
life
 it mean in the age of 17-18 year.
Secondly it
Accept comma addition
Secondly, it
develop
Suggestion
develops
 the sense of ownership and responsibility among the youngster, which help them to decide about their education and training and about
job
 what they want to do in later
life
.
In addition
, today’s generation are more intelligent than older, they know what is better or not for them.
Therefore
, they choose the best quality of education and university, which help them to get
the good
Suggestion
the best
job
 in later
life
 easily and identify their position as well as income which they want to achieve.
Furthermore
, it is pivotal for
youngster
Suggestion
youngsters
a youngster
the youngster
 to choose what they want to be in
future
Suggestion
the future
 because
it
of a thing, of it; possessive form of "it"
its
 effect on their
life
 as well as on their family condition. If they choose a goal, which they want to achieve
thus
 focus on that rather than moving
aimless
Suggestion
aimlessly
 from
job
 to
job
. To recapitulate, I personally believe that the young age is the best age to choose their
career
 and set their goals for
future
Suggestion
the future
 because in later
life
 due to family and work pressure people does not have time to make
decision
Suggestion
decisions
a decision
the decision
 about their goal or
career
.
Submitted by jassalbaljinder2163 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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