Many countries have compulsory military service for young men after they leave school. It would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men, and possibly for women too. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.
Recently, many
nations
have ordered their youth to join military service after they have graduated from school. Use synonyms
This
idea interests many Linking Words
countries
to apply Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
system
for both men and women, if possible. In Use synonyms
this
essay, I will highlight the reasons for Linking Words
this
discussion and give my perspective Linking Words
further
.
Linking Words
Firstly
, adopting Linking Words
this
military service Linking Words
system
will benefit national defences. The military forces will be filled with young Use synonyms
people
who still have a strong and healthy body. It will make their country stronger than others who still have not adopted Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
system
. Use synonyms
For example
, Russia, which has applied Linking Words
this
Linking Words
system
for almost 200 years ago, become one of the strongest military forces in the world. Their Use synonyms
people
have been trained since they were young and Use synonyms
consequently
, it has turned them stronger and smarter.
Linking Words
Secondly
, not all Linking Words
countries
are ready to apply Use synonyms
this
military Linking Words
system
to their Use synonyms
people
. There are still many Use synonyms
nations
who still struggle with poverty and famine. Applying Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
system
will only cause them even more. Use synonyms
For instance
, Linking Words
countries
in Africa Use synonyms
such
asLinking Words
,
Sudan, which still faces food scarcity, usually have short and thin bodies. It will only produce weak Remove the comma
apply
people
for the military force and not give much strength to their defences.
In summary, there are many benefits to adopting Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
system
Use synonyms
to
all Change preposition
for
nations
, but not all Use synonyms
nations
are ready to apply it. I believe some Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
such
as Sudan should Linking Words
also
adopt Linking Words
this
Linking Words
system
in the future, Use synonyms
hence
, they have to increase their human resources first by overcoming the poverty and famine problem.Linking Words
Submitted by dorima
on
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advice coherence cohesion
Your essay is clear and well-presented, but it could benefit from more specific examples or data to support your arguments. Consider using studies, statistics, or quotes where applicable.
advice task achievement
Some ideas could be expanded for clarity. For example, explaining how military training contributes to increased national defense capabilities could strengthen your argument.
highlight introduction
The introduction sets the stage well for the discussion, clearly stating the issue and your intention to discuss it.
highlight conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points and presents a clear opinion.