IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#countries #people #leisure #time #pressure #work #studies
Nowadays, a lot of students only have little free
time
 to develop their hobbies in some countries. The main reason is that they are contributing their
time
 to studying. I am going to investigate the reason and provide some solutions. Parents want their kids to be successful in their future careers. They put pressure on their kids. The kids need to do the works and practice past papers in order to prepare for the exam or test.
Although
 it works sometimes, the kids are very stressed under a lot of pressure. The education system is another cause. Now, most of the students spend all the
time
 preparing the exam syllabus. A lot of them want to go for
further
 studies at university.
Therefore
, they would prefer to spend
time
 on studying because the competition is huge. They do not have spare
time
 to do their favourite interests. The school should promote work-life balance
on
Suggestion
of
 the school campus. Work-life balance can help the students to have their
time
.
For example
, the students in the UK have the activity
time
 after school to develop skills
such
 as sports, music, and arts. So that students can cope with stress easily
Furthermore
, universities should not just focus on the students’ academic results. The after-school activities should be a reference for application. Because other aspects of development are
also
 important. In conclusion, most of the youngsters are contributing to studying. They can go to an ideal university as they wish, but sacrifice their leisure
time
 to develop hobbies. The parents and the education system are the reason that caused it.
Submitted by John on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • high expectations
  • academic success
  • future success
  • competitive nature
  • modern education systems
  • top grades
  • prestigious universities
  • high-paying jobs
  • rise of technology
  • social media platforms
  • physical activities
  • relaxation
  • extracurricular demands
  • multiple responsibilities
  • economic factors
  • lower-income families
  • part-time jobs
  • academic pressures
What to do next:
Look at other essays: