Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on society. Others deny that these have any significant influence on people's behavior. What is your opinion?

Some people hold the belief that
television
and electronic
game
that contains
violence
can have a devastating effect on the society. In my point of view, I partly agree with
this
statement. There are various reasons why people think that
violence
in computer
game
and
television
can affect people in detrimental and
also
physical health.
First
of all, people who are not mentally stable can mimic
violence
Suggestion
violent
action in
television
and have a negative effect on them.
For example
, almost offenders with unstable mental health often commit crime, they do not plan to hurt
people but
Accept comma addition
people, but
somehow
violence
that
thay
people in general
they
saw in electronic
game
or so encourage them to commit crime.
Additionally
, children who watch a lot of
violence
Suggestion
violent
movies on the Internet or
television
tend to be aggressive and in a hot tempered with people around them.
Therefore
, they might bully others to prove their strength.
However
, I have to acknowledge that it does not affect the majority and not everyone can be influenced by watching
violence
.
Firstly
, people often act from their motives regardless they watch
violence
in
television
and playing
game
Suggestion
games
or not. If people intend to hurt or commit crime that not because of watching
television
or playing a lot of
violence
Suggestion
violent
game but
Accept comma addition
game, but
due to their personalities, characters and knowledge.
Secondly
, in
this
modern world,
violence
can reduce social
violence
by proving virtual reality games. There are many virtual reality games for people who like
violence
, they can fight in the
game
so that it can reduce social
violence
. For the reasons mentioned above, I believe that
violence
in
television
and computer
game
could have both positive and negative consequences in equal measure.
Submitted by Quỳnh Anh on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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