Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on society. Others deny that these have any significant influence on people's behavior. What is your opinion?

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Some people hold the belief that

television

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and electronic

game

Use synonyms

that contains

violence

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can have a devastating effect on the society. In my point of view, I partly agree with

this

Linking Words

statement. There are various reasons why people think that

violence

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in computer

game

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and

television

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can affect people in detrimental and

also

Linking Words

physical health.

First

Linking Words

of all, people who are not mentally stable can mimic

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violence

Suggestion

violent

action in

television

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and have a negative effect on them.

For example

Linking Words

, almost offenders with unstable mental health often commit crime, they do not plan to hurt

people but

Accept comma addition

people, but

somehow

violence

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that

thay

people in general

they

saw in electronic

game

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or so encourage them to commit crime.

Additionally

Linking Words

, children who watch a lot of

Use synonyms

violence

Suggestion

violent

movies on the Internet or

television

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tend to be aggressive and in a hot tempered with people around them.

Therefore

Linking Words

, they might bully others to prove their strength.

However

Linking Words

, I have to acknowledge that it does not affect the majority and not everyone can be influenced by watching

violence

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Firstly

Linking Words

, people often act from their motives regardless they watch

violence

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television

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and playing

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game

Suggestion

games

or not. If people intend to hurt or commit crime that not because of watching

television

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or playing a lot of

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violence

Suggestion

violent

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game but

Accept comma addition

game, but

due to their personalities, characters and knowledge.

Secondly

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, in

this

Linking Words

modern world,

violence

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can reduce social

violence

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by proving virtual reality games. There are many virtual reality games for people who like

violence

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, they can fight in the

game

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so that it can reduce social

violence

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. For the reasons mentioned above, I believe that

violence

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television

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and computer

game

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could have both positive and negative consequences in equal measure.

Quỳnh AnhMon Jun 29 2020

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

278 words

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Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on society. Others deny that these have any significant influence on people's behavior. What is your opinion?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Artists need a certain amount of freedom to develop their creativity. Some people think that artists should have total freedom to express any thoughts and ideas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, today there is insufficient respect to old people. What are the reasons? What problem it brings to the society?

Tests and examinations are a central feature of school systems in many countries. Do you think the educational benefits of testing outweigh any disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer.

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on lerning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think the manufacturers or shopping malls should sell less packaged products and others argue that people have the responsibility to buy products with less packaging. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.