Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on society. Others deny that these have any significant influence on people's behavior. What is your opinion?

#people #violence #television #computer #games #effect #society #influence #behavior

Some people hold the belief that

television

and electronic

game

that contains

violence

can have a devastating effect on the society. In my point of view, I partly agree with

this

statement. There are various reasons why people think that

violence

in computer

game

and

television

can affect people in detrimental and

also

physical health.

First

of all, people who are not mentally stable can mimic

violence

Suggestion

violent

action in

television

and have a negative effect on them.

For example

, almost offenders with unstable mental health often commit crime, they do not plan to hurt

people but

Accept comma addition

people, but

somehow

violence

that

thay

people in general

they

saw in electronic

game

or so encourage them to commit crime.

Additionally

, children who watch a lot of

violence

Suggestion

violent

movies on the Internet or

television

tend to be aggressive and in a hot tempered with people around them.

Therefore

, they might bully others to prove their strength.

However

, I have to acknowledge that it does not affect the majority and not everyone can be influenced by watching

violence

Firstly

, people often act from their motives regardless they watch

violence

television

and playing

game

Suggestion

games

or not. If people intend to hurt or commit crime that not because of watching

television

or playing a lot of

violence

Suggestion

violent

game but

Accept comma addition

game, but

due to their personalities, characters and knowledge.

Secondly

, in

this

modern world,

violence

can reduce social

violence

by proving virtual reality games. There are many virtual reality games for people who like

violence

, they can fight in the

game

so that it can reduce social

violence

. For the reasons mentioned above, I believe that

violence

television

and computer

game

could have both positive and negative consequences in equal measure.

Submitted by Quỳnh Anh on Mon Jun 29 2020

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

278 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on society. Others deny that these have any significant influence on people's behavior. What is your opinion?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals; during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

A government has a responsibility to its citizen to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defence but spend less on social benefits. To what extent do you agree?

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?