Something about the education of the young people in the main educational priority of countries. But others believe that educating the adults who cannot read and write is needed by society and we should help more with it. To what extent, do you agree or disagree with their opinion

Some sets of people argue that grown up literacy is the problematic issue and should the national budget youth education in grownup's education,
however
, I cannot accept the view considering that the benefits of the governments and the potential growth of children through the young student studying. Admittedly, I partly agree that adult literacy, which is the essential skill for living in modern society is a worrying issue to not only the government but
also
individuals.
This
is because under-learning cannot move forward one's life smoothly and might ruin one's economic prospects. More specifically, it is an undeniable truth that uneducated people are here to get a satisfactory job since nowadays most of the companies has been changed the business area which was tertiary industries that manufacturing products to forth industry that manufacturing cutting edge skills including, artificial intelligences,
thus
they are in there of hiring applicants with specialised skill and professional knowledge.
As a result
, the adult who does not have basic abilities cannot choose to work in a limited working area,
such
as cleaning jobs or delivering something. It might lead them to live with low salaries and will remain to live at the bottom of the social status. From the perspective of the ministry, the matter is exigent matter to solve through educating them.
Nevertheless
, I, as one of the opponents of
this
view, would like to point out two things.
First
of all, the country's development assessment is judged by the level of children’s schooling. From the view of the authority,
this
assessment is crucial in that it shows the potential of the nation's future,
in other words
, the future workforce.
Thus
, if the country has a high level of the child's training,
then
it will show that those children grow into a person with stable occupations available to pay higher taxes,
such
as a doctor, a teacher, or an engineer.
This
is the reason why the state spent a large amount of budget on the children's study.
Furthermore
, when it comes to thinking about the opposite side which is the national taxes have diverted into adult study, under-educated children will highly possibly fall into the swamp of the crime. Considering the nature of the children, unlike the adults, children are not mature enough to distinguish right from wrong and easily be affected by external environments.
In addition
, another potentially problematic issue is that less-educated children might grow into a person who the authority trying to educate. In conclusion, the government that prioritizes the potential merits should spend the national budget to young children, despite the advantages that grown up education would bring.
Submitted by YouTube yang on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: