IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

#people #advertisements #products #lives
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Advertising is a way of manufacturers and retailers to make a
product
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 of a good
sale
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.
It
Suggestion
It's
 a process use by many companies to uplift the
sale
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 of their products by using
this
Linking Words
 advertising concept. Every company
have
Suggestion
has
has had
 a little pressure to boost the
sale
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 of their
products especially
Accept comma addition
products, especially
 when a
product
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 is a new to a market and it is on the launching stage. A
product
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 when being introduced, could be in push and pull outcome. Push outcome is when manufacturers push the retailers or in house to create the
sale
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 of a
product
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 and they generate advertising for the same. Pull outcome is when a certain advertising increases the
sale
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 of a
product
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 by directly pulling the customers via
offering
Suggestion
offers
 a good offer
to
Suggestion
for
 them. There are different methods of advertising opt out via the different mediums
such
Linking Words
 as newspaper, television, radio, leaflets etc.
For example
Linking Words
: a televised detergent-based advertisement offers a free detergent pack if you buy 10 detergent packs.
This
Linking Words
 is a good way of increasing the
sale
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 of a
product
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.
However
Linking Words
, there are some products which are already quoted as unnecessary which could be on the buying options
on
Suggestion
for
 a lot of customers. One example, I will take out a clothing brand which claims a 70% off on all items. Ladies, specifically have the tendency to buy a number of
clothes even
Accept comma addition
clothes, even
 when they are already in excess with them and they want to take the advantage of so called ‘
Sale
Use synonyms
’, thinking that they have saved a lot of money but they actually forgot to know that they have bought excessively more than what they actually need.
Submitted by shakti bajaj on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • persuade
  • manipulative
  • unnecessary
  • excessive
  • artificial needs
  • desires
  • consumers
  • oversaturation
  • impulse buying
  • financial problems
  • inform
  • educate
  • features
  • benefits
  • innovations
  • raise awareness
  • social issues
  • positive behavior
  • enrich
  • well-being
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