IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business, and academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

6.0 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
It
is goes
Suggestion
goes
 without saying that disclose knowledge of something good to share with others.
In contrast
Linking Words
, some group of people said cannot disclose any
information
Use synonyms
 at all. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both points of view
also
Linking Words
 giving my opinion.
Body paragraph 1
In the matters of fact, it is an awesome idea to disclose the studied of research, trading, academic things, etc.
as
Suggestion
As
 well as let people know about the fact or
histories especially
Accept comma addition
histories, especially
 to gain more knowledge for people who has related occupation should benefit.
For instance
Linking Words
, teachers should know about the word situation from any source
also
Linking Words
 can receive some
information
Use synonyms
 from the research, internet news including some business journals and share them with the students later on. As well as shared
information
Use synonyms
 could be an advantage to any other general people to inspire them to create some activities in
such
Linking Words
 a
ground-breaking
being or producing something like nothing done or experienced or created before
groundbreaking
to
Suggestion
in
this
Linking Words
 society.
Body paragraph 2
However
Linking Words
, some people still turned down
this
Linking Words
 argument said that some data cannot be disclosed to the public. Some of that
information
Use synonyms
 might be causing any problems
such
Linking Words
 as intellectual property infringement. To illustrating, there is the news reported someone can steal
information
Use synonyms
 throughout the internet while the owner was not allowed.
Also
Linking Words
 it can lead to a huge sector in each country any data cannot be leaked because it may be
causing
Suggestion
caused
 stability problems. In my
opinion it
Accept comma addition
opinion, it
 is good to acknowledge
such
Linking Words
 as an academic world or any situation
happening but
Accept comma addition
happening, but
 we must be careful when we apply them.
Conclusion
In conclusion, some of the
information
Use synonyms
 depends on the right who can be shared and it must be in a proper way meanwhile some of them can keep a secret. Sometimes it can depend on the consideration of the sender.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
What to do next:
Look at other essays:
  • 6
    band

    in some countries, people are hiring a personal fitness trainer rather than playing sports or doing exercise classess what are the reason for this is this a positive or negative develpment

    Private trainers are in higher demand in several countries. Conducting the trainers has more benefit in performing sports or physical exercise as they can likely scan through a diet habit and the abilities of individuals that can perform during the session. I believe that there would be a positive impact from getting a private trainer instead of doing class activities. Nowadays, more and more people build a healthy habit by making time to go to the gym and eating clean. Going to the gym doesn't help a person get into shape; thus, this is where the private instructor gets involved. To be honest, hiring the instructor is costly, but he or she helps to advise on good posture as well as knows various types of exercise that can benefit the targeted body parts. For example, adding extra weight to certain exercises when they believe that their trainee is capable. Moreover, fitness trainers are more likely to give suggestions on the series of meals that are essential for the body during the...
  • 6
    band

    What are your Achievements in 2023 and Revolutions in 2024

    Many things happened in 2023, and there were revolutions in 2024. Last year was a year of surprise and happiness because we bought a new house and gained Canadian citizenship. Firstly, my family was so lucky when we bought a house. We were fortunate because we found a pretty cheap house, but the house is still beautiful, big, and near everything. Our house was near school, the mall, and even downtown, making our transportation faster and taking less time. Secondly, we finally gained Canadian citizenship. My mom studied and worked hard every day for this. She spent time daily improving her English skills for IELTS and working hard to gain some plus points for a better chance of achieving Canadian citizenship. After all the work, she now has Canadian citizenship, and because of that, I became a Canadian citizen, too. To sum up, I bought a new house and became a Canadian citizen, making 2023 the best year in my life until now.
  • 6
    band

    Some people think that online reading materials are better for children. Others argues that traditional paper based resources are better. Discuss and give your opinion.

    There is no denying the fact that reading is a crucial thing to improve the child's mind. However, there is also an argument about what kind of materials are the best for kids, traditional paper or electronic paper. This essay will analyze this topic from both points of view and express my opinion.
  • 6
    band

    It is said that the education system is the most critical factor in the development of a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

    The role of education in national progress has long been a subject of debate among policymakers and scholars. While various factors such as economic stability, political governance, and technological innovation contribute to a country’s advancement, I firmly believe that a robust education system is the cornerstone of sustainable development. This is because education not only cultivates human capital but also fosters social cohesion and drives innovation.
  • 6
    band

    The tendency of news reports in the media to focus more on problems and emergencies rather than on positive developments is harmful to the individuals and the society as a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

    The question of whether the media should focus more on problems has sparked heated debate. Some argue that negative contents are harmful to individuals, while others see that problems and emergencies are worth the public’s attention. My personal idea is the latter should be more emphasized because media can actually provide in-time information for disaster forecasting or prevention. In this essay, I will elaborate more detail and provide my personal opinions.