In a number of countries, some people think it is neccessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trians between cities. Othes believe the money should be sent on improving existing public transport.

It is undeniable that improving a transportation in nowadays might use a large amount of
money
instead
of constructing a new one. To illustrate
this
, I shall attempt in earnest to provide a lucid and detailed report on salient features and
also
giving two viable ways of improving a situation in the following paragraphs. To
constructing
Suggestion
construct
a brand new transportation must use a lot of
money
. Some policy in each country using
different strategy
Suggestion
different strategies
a different strategy
depends on
stability
Suggestion
the stability
and
powerful
Suggestion
power
of that country some might be
loan
Suggestion
loaned
and having a lot of debt and everything has to plan in advance. The citizens may get
this
benefit but
Accept comma addition
benefit, but
they will wait so long like I have mentioned
a
Suggestion
an
above the
Accept comma addition
above, the
government has to realize that to build up something new must to
covers
Suggestion
cover
all the needs and suitable.
On the other hand
, proponent still
argue
Suggestion
argues
that
instead
of building a brand new railway or
high speed
Suggestion
a high speed train
high speed trains
train
should use
money
to improve the existing. It
is depends
Suggestion
depends
on how old and broke
of
from a particular thing or place or position
off
the
train
. People should
considered
Suggestion
consider
about their
life what
Accept comma addition
life, what
if spending a lot of
money but
Accept comma addition
money, but
the
train
still crash
therefore
it worthless. The essential key to consider it’s all about worth of
money
, suitable, and safety. It
is goes
Suggestion
goes
without saying that high speed
train
must build up between big
cities but some
Suggestion
cities, but some
rural area is not that necessary. Inclusion, constructing a new railway and high speed
train
should
considers
Suggestion
consider
about suitable reason as well as it has to cover all the citizens’ needs.
In contrast
, improving the existing must considered about the safety.
it
Suggestion
It
is undoubtly
Accept comma addition
is, undoubtedly
is undoubtedly
, embodies my opinion perfectly.
Submitted by Datchanee Thasan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: