IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect on children. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #media #coverage #celebrities #effect #children
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In modern times, a new kind of media,
such
Linking Words
 as social media, plays an important role. Children are easier to get information from these.
However
Linking Words
, some said that media coverage of celebrities may have a negative effect, especially on children. In my opinion, I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement by couple reasons which will be outlined in the following essay.
First
Linking Words
 of all, children whose mental are immature is easy to be misled by the media. They believe everything easily, especially to trust what celebrities said. Meanwhile, many internet celebrities have no special skill or make efforts, what they do is only show off their money and extravagant live. It may cause children believe that they can do nothing and live in a good life.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they may have the unrealistic expectations, like dream to become an internet celebrities and do not make efforts on their career and study. There is another reason why I believed that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect on children. Compared to some other issues
such
Linking Words
 as poverty, famine, war and other form of global crisis which human race is facing, what celebrities have done is not important at all. These news is focused by the media may cause people to ignore the truly important issues. If the media can more focus on these important issues, it can lead our society in a better direction. In conclusion, media coverage of celebrities will make children have the unrealistic expectations and ignore the important issues which we should pay attention.
Submitted by 莊曉薇 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Celebrity culture
  • Glamorization
  • Unrealistic expectations
  • Self-esteem
  • Scandals
  • Role models
  • Moral development
  • Mental health
  • Influence
  • Exposure
  • Social media platforms
  • Charity work
  • Inappropriate behavior
  • Perfection image
  • Negative impact
  • Inspire children
What to do next:
Look at other essays: