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Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowdays people start to doing online shopping .is it good or bad?

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Nowadays,the nature of shops has changed dramatically and people have started to do shopping online and purchase through the Internet.In my point of view, I find shopping online the most convenient way of shopping today which, can keep up with put fast world today.
To begin
 with,online shopping can offer a variety of
products
 which ,can be easily checked using comments and buyer's reviews.
In other words
,you can get original
products
 from different companies in one place without the need to spend a lot of time shopping ,like the ordinary way of shopping.
For instance
,sites like Noon and Ali Baba have made it easier for us to buy different things like clothes,shoes and devices with the same guarantee you can get from ordinary shopping with just a few steps; including selecting the items and
then
 buying with your card and
finally
 getting the product with 14 days at maximum.What can be said is that online shopping offers a lot of
products
 with an easy way to buy.
In addition
 ,Shopping through the Internet has saved lots of time and effort plus it offers bargains for
consumers
 on every item they choose from
As
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, different merchants encourage buyers by making great offers which enhances impulse buying.An eminent example is NOON which enables
consumers
 to buy items from different merchants which in return makes it easy for
consumers
 to buy things with high quality and at a reasonable price. In conclusion,after the essay has manifested the points mentioned above, it can be reiterated that shopping through the Internet has lots of merits.I am convinced that online shopping is beneficial for
consumers
 because it saves both time and money and gives
consumers
 the variety of
products
 that they need.
Submitted by ahmedteleb500 on

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coherence
Work on improving the coherence of your essay. While the main ideas are present, the flow of information can be smoother. Utilize more transitional phrases to guide the reader through your points.
coherence
Focus on the logical structure of your paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph centers around a single idea, and expand on it systematically.
task achievement
Add more specific examples and details to support your main points. This will help to make your argument more convincing and comprehensive.
task achievement
Although your response is complete, make sure to thoroughly address all parts of the prompt. Discuss not just the advantages but also consider mentioning any potential disadvantages to provide a balanced view.
introduction conclusion
The introduction and conclusion are clear, establishing the topic and summarizing the main points effectively.
relevant specific examples
You provided relevant specific examples which enhance the credibility of your arguments.
task achievement
Your essay has a good length and covers the primary aspects of the topic effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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