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Band 6.5

Today parents spend little free time with their children. Why is it the case ? Who are more affected: parents or children?

#parents #time #children #case
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The issues of parents not spending enough
time
 with their offspring have been raising a lot of debates. Some might say that parents have to make a living and forget about their children which exerts detrimental effects on their children’s personality and makes their kids more likely to commit crime. Others insist on the view that parents are the individuals who are affected the most in the aspect of emotion. Standing from general viewpoints,
this
 essay will discuss both views and I, hereby, agree
on
Suggestion
with
 the former opinion.
To begin
 with, children tend to be negatively affected in the aspects of personality development and become under-age criminals when their parents only focus on earning money.
First
 of all, many children are susceptible to experience mental crises alone when they do not have enough
time
 with their family. Specifically, most teenagers suffer from mental
trauma
Accept comma addition
trauma, such
such
 as friendship problems or love issues that they need their parents to share with. Not having their father or mother by their side, the young often have to overcome problems themselves and lead to antisocial disorder.
Secondly
, many youngsters are often attracted by social problems and mimic what they see in violent television program when they do not have the knowledge to define whether it is right or wrong. As a matter of fact, children need to be guided by their family to avoid committing these social issues.
Otherwise
, being a juvenile criminal is unavoidable.
On the other hand
, many people claim that many adults suffer from emotional instability when they try to reconnect their families together. As a matter of fact, the combination of stress from work and effort to reform connection between family members could result in mental illness.
However
,
this
 problem can easily be solved by spending quality
time
 doing activities with their offspring. In conclusion, it is no doubt to say that adolescents are affected dramatically when they do not have enough
time
 with their family compared to adults.
Submitted by Rolling with Aiden Lam on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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