IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The course director of your previous college has invited you to attend a party for new students, and he has also asked you to give a talk about studying overseas. You have an important examination on the same day so you cannot attend the party. Write a letter to the director to apologize and to explain why you cannot attend the event. Suggest another date when you could give your talk.

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Dear
Mr.
Change the punctuation
Mr

The abbreviated title Mr. seems to be punctuated incorrectly. Consider changing the punctuation.

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 Loyds, It was great to hear from you. Thank you so much for inviting me to a party for new students
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 Saturday. I’d absolutely love to come and give a talk to the students about studying abroad, but
unfortunately
Add a comma
,unfortunately

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase unfortunately. Consider adding a comma.

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 I’ve already arranged to do something very important that day. I’d like to apologize
about
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 not being
in
Change preposition
at

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 College event. I suppose you remember my fear
driving
Change preposition
of driving

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 a car when I was a student. I realize it's high time to have a driver's license So I’ll take a driving test on Saturday. I have to pass my exam to get a part-time job in a big trading company. I really want to get together, though. How about meeting with the students
next
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 week? I know you’ve got a lot on your plate,
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

first
Correct article usage
the first

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 couple weeks of works at College and all.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 I’ll give you a call and we can sort out the details over the phone. I’m looking forward to attending College and hope to see you soon! Yours sincerely, Cho Ir

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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