IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case ? Do you think this a positive or negative situation ?

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Selecting a place
for living
Change preposition
to live
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 is a big decision to make. In some parts of the world, people value
for
Change preposition
apply
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their own house because it is a sense of achievement rather than renting which could not save money in the long run. From my perspective, residence ownership is a natural human desire. First and foremost, many individuals seek to own their personal house where they
could
Wrong verb form
can
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 live with peace of mind.
Although
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 they may struggle to acquire it,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
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many people tend to purchase homes as per their
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
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.
For instance
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, in many
western
Capitalize word
Western
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 countries, people mortgage and take loans from the banks to purchase property.
Whereas
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, living as a tenant, one not only
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 to abide
the
Change preposition
by the
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 rules and regulations set by the landlords, but
also
Linking Words
 individual can not renovate the property
according to
Linking Words
 his need.
Thus
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, it is imperative to have
a
Correct article usage
apply
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personal property where one can live peacefully.
Nonetheless
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, I believe that having a home has many positive aspects
such
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 as it gives freedom in doing many things. Persons will not
get
Verb problem
be
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 bound to anyone's rules and regulations and owners have the opportunity to renovate frequently. Taking myself as an example, when I was living in the suburbs of Auburn, Sydney, I
cannot
Wrong verb form
could not
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 even move a refrigerator to another place in the kitchen area, so having a personal house is necessary to thrive in
a
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apply
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society.
Furthermore
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, the sense of satisfaction can be felt in our own building which could be missing in renting
apartment
Add an article
an apartment
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 so,
this
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 will make the owner feel more relaxed.
Hence
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, owning a home gives satisfaction.
To sum up
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, a place to live
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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truly depend on the dwellers
either if
Correct word choice
whether
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 they live as a tenant or
having
Wrong verb form
have
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his
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 own flat.
However
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, renting a home
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
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 save finances
while
Linking Words
 ownership can save money.

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grammar
While you have clearly presented your ideas, there are a few grammatical errors which need to be corrected. For instance, you have written 'the sense of satisfaction can be felt in our own building' which is a bit awkward. It could be better stated as, 'there's a certain sense of satisfaction that comes from living in one's own home'.
content
You have clearly presented your views with relevant examples. However, try to be a bit more analytical. It would improve your writing if you could describe why there are such cultural differences in home ownership and further discuss why renting does not save money in the long term compared to owning a home.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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