In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case ? Do you think this a positive or negative situation ?
Selecting a place
for living
is a big decision to make. In some parts of the world, people value Change preposition
to live
for
their own house because it is a sense of achievement rather than renting which could not save money in the long run. From my perspective, residence ownership is a natural human desire.
First and foremost, many individuals seek to own their personal house where they Change preposition
apply
could
live with peace of mind. Wrong verb form
can
Although
they may struggle to acquire it, Linking Words
but
many people tend to purchase homes as per their Remove the conjunction
apply
need
. Fix the agreement mistake
needs
For instance
, in many Linking Words
western
countries, people mortgage and take loans from the banks to purchase property. Capitalize word
Western
Whereas
, living as a tenant, one not only Linking Words
have
to abide Correct subject-verb agreement
has
the
rules and regulations set by the landlords, but Change preposition
by the
also
individual can not renovate the property Linking Words
according to
his need. Linking Words
Thus
, it is imperative to have Linking Words
a
personal property where one can live peacefully.
Correct article usage
apply
Nonetheless
, I believe that having a home has many positive aspects Linking Words
such
as it gives freedom in doing many things. Persons will not Linking Words
get
bound to anyone's rules and regulations and owners have the opportunity to renovate frequently. Taking myself as an example, when I was living in the suburbs of Auburn, Sydney, I Verb problem
be
cannot
even move a refrigerator to another place in the kitchen area, so having a personal house is necessary to thrive in Wrong verb form
could not
a
society. Remove the article
apply
Furthermore
, the sense of satisfaction can be felt in our own building which could be missing in renting Linking Words
apartment
so, Add an article
an apartment
this
will make the owner feel more relaxed. Linking Words
Hence
, owning a home gives satisfaction.
Linking Words
To sum up
, a place to live Linking Words
is
truly depend on the dwellers Unnecessary verb
apply
either if
they live as a tenant or Correct word choice
whether
having
Wrong verb form
have
his
own flat. Correct pronoun usage
their
However
, renting a home Linking Words
could not
save finances Wrong verb form
cannot
while
ownership can save money.Linking Words
Submitted by Amjid ali on
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grammar
While you have clearly presented your ideas, there are a few grammatical errors which need to be corrected. For instance, you have written 'the sense of satisfaction can be felt in our own building' which is a bit awkward. It could be better stated as, 'there's a certain sense of satisfaction that comes from living in one's own home'.
content
You have clearly presented your views with relevant examples. However, try to be a bit more analytical. It would improve your writing if you could describe why there are such cultural differences in home ownership and further discuss why renting does not save money in the long term compared to owning a home.