IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people believe that we should protect all wanimals while others believe we should just protect some of them

#people #wanimals
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
People have different opinions about whether we should protect all wild animals or not. While many people think that all wild animals should be protected, In my view, we ought to protect some of them. On the one hand, Humans should protect all wild animals in order to keep biodiversity as well as the balance of ecosystem since they are very essential for the planet.
For instance
, some people hunt animals,
although
 it is forbidden.
As a result
this
 led to break the life cycle of the species.
In addition
, Animals frequently suffer from extreme pain or they die during testing. Despite the arguments above, In my opinion, we ought to protect some of wild animals.
Firstly
, protecting all wild animals is too costly and take a lot of time, so money should be spent on education and health care systems for people rather than animals.
Secondly
, people should help endangered animals because not all wild animals worth saving.
Finally
, Some wild animals are so dangerous for humanity. People can be infected unknown illness by animals when they attack or injury. By the way, people have been killed by some wild animals for ages In conclusion. In my view, we ought to protect some of wild animals,
Although
 many people think that we should protect all of them.
Submitted by Raziya on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: