IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The increase in mobile phone use in recent years has transformed the way we live, communicate and do business. Mobile phones can also be the cause of social or medical problems. What forms do these problems take? Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of mobile phones?

#phone #years #business #phones #forms
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
At present, the usage of mobile phone has enhanced our way of living, but some people argue that it has affected people's interaction negatively and could possibly post some health risks. While I do think that over usage of mobility might generate minor danger, I
also
Linking Words
 strongly believe that there are more positive outcomes from the advancement of phones throughout the years.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, a few experts state that people are becoming more unsocial and less communicative.
In addition
Linking Words
, it is creating disruption to family or friends reuniting because some are spending more time texting or calling than actually engaging personally.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, some medical officers
also
Linking Words
 claim that over usage of cell phones can cause brain cancer due to the radiation being absorbed from the phone.
Also
Linking Words
, some pronounce that it increases people's stress level as they do tend to be too dependent and addicted to their phones.
However
Linking Words
, there might be a number of demerits from the continuous development in mobile technology, but there is
also
Linking Words
 a bunch of reasons why it has helped the society to be more progressive.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the innovation of smart phones has established enhanced communication between families who are living far away from each other.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it has been a consistent tool for getting new information and making work more productive.
For example
Linking Words
, people have easy access to the internet and social media with their phones and
this
Linking Words
 helps us to be more aware and educated.
Lastly
Linking Words
, cell phones made the everyday task more convenient, from introducing an integrated travel and mapping to wireless payments. To sum up, the advancement of smartphones establishes more pros than cons as it can be proved that it has improved people's lifestyle as we have instant access to almost everything in just one click.
Submitted by Leslie Cortez on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • over-reliance
  • cyberbullying
  • screen time
  • data privacy
  • identity theft
  • financial fraud
  • eye strain
  • sleep disorders
  • chronic issues
  • productivity
  • notifications
  • validation
  • self-esteem
What to do next:
Look at other essays: