IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In some parts of the world, the rate of divorce has increased dramatically over the past few decades. Explain some possible reasons for this problem and suggest some solutions.

#parts #world #rate #divorce #decades
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The
divorce
Use synonyms
 rate is increasing in many places. I believe that the breakdown of the extended family and the stresses of work are the major causes of
this
Linking Words
 situation. Fortunately,
although
Linking Words
 these issues have led to a rise in the
divorce
Use synonyms
 rate, there are ways we can solve
this
Linking Words
 problem. In my opinion, the biggest cause of
divorce
Use synonyms
 is the breakdown of the extended family. In the past, a family was made up of parents, grandparents, children, and other relatives.
This
Linking Words
 meant that there was always somebody available to help with child care. It
also
Linking Words
 meant that expenses could be shared in times of financial difficulty. These days, people often don't have
this
Linking Words
 kind of support from their families, and
this
Linking Words
 puts more stress on a
marriage
Use synonyms
. Stress in the workplace is another cause of
divorce
Use synonyms
. These days, people are often expected to work longer hours than they did in the past.
This
Linking Words
 means they spend less time at home with their families. It
also
Linking Words
 means that when they are at home, they are tired and probably irritable, too. All of
this
Linking Words
 adds up an unhappy family life.
Fortunatelly
Suggestion
Fortunately
, there are things that can be done to solve some of these problems if people really want to. People can decide to live closer to their extended family. They can invite their elderly parents to live with them or look for a job closer to their relatives' homes. People can
also
Linking Words
 look for less demanding jobs or decide to have one parent stay at home
instead
Linking Words
 of working. These things require changing one's lifestyle in some big ways, but they can lead to a happier
marriage
Use synonyms
 and family life. There are a lot of demands in modern life that places stress on a
marriage
Use synonyms
 and lead to
divorce
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, people can choose to make changes to their lifestyle that can result in a better, stronger
marriage
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Peggy XIA on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: