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Do you Agree or disagree that celebrities are paid far too much money ? Give reasons for your answer

#celebrities #money
Entertainment is
significian
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significant
 in life ,so famous people
such
ac
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as
 singers ,actors,
models
Correct word choice
and models
show examples
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
benefit from
this
 field.It is
argument
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argued
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 that they are paid far too much
money
 .In my opinion, I tend to agree that they deserve a high salary for their
delication
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dedication
 and effort. First of all,as other professions,
celebritieshave
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celebrities have
 to give a lot of time and relentless training
effortin
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effort in
 the hopes of
shinning
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shining
show examples
 in the limelight .
For example
,, Korean trainees who spent many years efforting against
thounsands
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thousands
 of ones
ro
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to
 reserve a debut .
Secondly
,not everyone has a rich artistic talent that has to go through the process of harsh training ,so that
thay
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they
 can compete in a fast-firing work environment.
Therefore
,They absolutely
deserve
Add the particle
deserve to
show examples
 be paid a high income for their efforts. Another argument in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of paying a lot of
money
 for the jobs which helps
decuation
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education
decoration
 and
healthof
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health of
health
 community .In fact,
Professtions
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Professions
such
 as teachers,doctors,
engineers
Correct word choice
and engineers
show examples
who
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apply
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have a more stable salary than well-known people.Because they do not have retirement pensions
then
 they get older and the amount of
money
 they receive depends on the
numberof
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number of
stickets
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tickets
 sold
each
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at each
show examples
 concert and profit from the music product .
While
 the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
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new celebrities just appear and the old ones have to try their best to bring the quality end trendy goods in order to maintain their social position.It is undeniable that famous people are influencers who have power in
media
Correct article usage
the media
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 community to join them and their fans together to help the
disadvantages
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disadvantaged
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 or donate charitable funds.
Futher more
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Furthermore
,the spiritual contributions of celebrities not only help us to relax but
also
 inspire the dynamic. In conclusion,I
belive
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believe
show examples
 that celebrities appropriate be paid far much
money
Change preposition
of money
show examples
 for their dedication.Because every
occupations
Change to a singular noun
occupation
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 equal,no job is more noble than
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anyone
show examples
any one
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anyone
show examples
,as long as they work true
Submitted by مسعود سهرابی on

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task achievement
Improve the development of main points and examples to better support the argument
coherence cohesion
Organize the ideas more coherently and use transitional phrases to guide the reader through the essay
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