It has been proposed that citizens should only consume food and drink products that have been produced in their own countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some argue that people should only eat
food
products and
beverages
that are manufactured domestically.
This
essay completely agrees with
this
statement because
this
can help with
food
security and it can create job opportunities for its citizens.
To begin
with, consuming foods and
beverages
that are manufactured locally can enhance the
food
security of the nation. Relying on domestically produced
food
ensures that the citizens have enough supply. They will not be affected when there is a disruption in the
food
supply in the world.
For example
, the war between Gaza and Israel made it impossible for producers to deliver
food
to the affected areas.
As a result
, it left millions of people hungry.
Thus
, implementing
this
measure ensures that the supply of
food
and drinks in the country will be enough especially during critical times.
In addition
to that,
this
can
increase
the employment rate. With
this
, the demand for domestic
food
products and
beverages
will
increase
and
this
can prompt the manufacturers to
increase
production as well.
Therefore
, they will need additional manpower in order to maintain the supply in the community, which can
also
lead to the possible construction of new facilities.
For instance
, the National
Food
Authority in the Philippines, are only getting their supply of rice from the local farmers. And
this
has helped a lot of farmers in the country.
Thus
, if citizens will only patronize locally produced
food
,
therefore
, more people will be employed and
this
can lead to the growth of the economy. In conclusion, consuming
food
products and
beverages
that are produced locally has a significant benefit to the nation.
Thus
, it should be promoted because it can help with the
food
security of the nation and can
also
increase
the employment rate.
Submitted by yoko.onerom on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph clearly relates to the overall essay question. The introduction should outline your position more succinctly, explaining why you agree or disagree.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a variety of linking words to connect ideas more naturally and make your argument flow better. Though some linking words are used, a greater variety could enhance the readability and cohesion of the essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
To increase coherence, create a more balanced approach by briefly acknowledging the other side of the argument, even if to refute it. This gives your essay a more rounded perspective.
Task Achievement
Make sure to directly address the essay question in your introduction and reiterate your main points in the conclusion for a more impactful statement.
Task Achievement
Use specific examples to support your arguments. While some examples are provided, more detailed and varied examples could strengthen your argument and demonstrate a wider understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Expand your ideas further. Aim to explore the implications, results, or hypothetical outcomes of your arguments to provide a deeper analysis and make your essay more insightful.

Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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