IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Shopping in the past was considered as a daily routine but nowadays a hobbies.....

#hobbies
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Initially
Linking Words
 buying commodities was considered daily chores for getting the utility products, but now, many individuals believe it as fun or pleasure to shop.
Although
Linking Words
 it's a stress reliever for some, but I strongly reckon that the trend is not going to work long as shopping the unnecessary stuff just refers to the mere wastage of wealth and time.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, rushing into the mall in order to get your cupboard filled up with expensive and glittery dresses, is surely a waste of money which
instead
Linking Words
 would be used for other essential tasks. Spending penny only on the required materials should be the priority of every citizen.
For instance
Linking Words
, trying a dish at home rather than having an expensive oily snack at an affluent restaurant would help us hit two birds with a single stone.One it would be healthier and other pocket friendly
Furthermore
Linking Words
, time which we just misspend is another major factor adding to the negativity of the trend. Juvenile especially, nowadays spend uselessly on the products which fascinates them even if it is of no use to them. According to the recent research of NMR group, the marketing sector has turned the leader of all other sectors in the terms of GDP. Individuals misuse their time lavishly on purchasing rather than utilising it smartly. To sum up, shopping to a certain extent is alright! But when turned into a hobby, it may be impractical and pointless as "excess of everything is bad". So the public needs to expend their wealth wisely and appropriately.
Submitted by abc on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • daily routine
  • necessity
  • leisure activity
  • hobby
  • transformation
  • evolution
  • convenience
  • online shopping
  • retail stores
  • window shopping
  • consumer culture
  • impulse buying
  • discounts and sales
  • brand loyalty
  • retail therapy
  • shopaholic
  • consumerism
  • marketplace
  • market trends
  • shopping malls
What to do next:
Look at other essays: