IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The charts below show the results of a survey on happiness ratings for married and unmarried people in the US, and the effect of children on the overall ratings of married couples.

The charts below show the results of a survey on happiness ratings for married and unmarried people in the US, and the effect of children on the overall ratings of married couples.
#show #results #survey #happiness #ratings #people #effect #children #couples
It can be seen that there are two charts about how happy
people
 are when they are married and single
as well as
 the happiness ratings of the
children
 of
people
 who are married in the USA. The graph compares the levels of happiness of
people
 at different ages. (represented by colours??I don't know if it would be necessary)
According to
 the graph married are happier than unmarried
people
. It can be observed in the category married the
group
 happiest are between
ages
Correct article usage
the ages
show examples
 of 18 and 29 with 45
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
while
 the 55 to 64 age
group
 represents the unhappiest category.
In contrast
, the largest
group
 of happy singles are over the age of 65 represented by 34
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,
subsequently
,
people
 between the ages of 30 and 49 make up the
second
 happiest
group
 by 22
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. The
second
 chart demonstrates an interesting rating the
children
´s couple have similar amounts of happiness. The happiest
children
 are represented for the
group
 under 18-year-old
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 44
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and other groups with a similar percentage, adults
by
Change preposition
at
show examples
 43
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and
children
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 18 years old
41
Change preposition
at 41
show examples
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Overall
 is clear that married
people
 are happiest arriving
almost
Change preposition
at almost
show examples
 double of percentage compare with singles
as a consequence
 their
children
 are happy as well
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 similar rate.
Submitted by Maria Clara Cordeiro on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "second".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, children, group, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "represented" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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