IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Although more and more people read news on the Internet, newspaper will remain the most important source of news. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #news #internet #newspaper #source
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The
Internet
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 is beginning to displace
newspapers
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 as the best place to find
information
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 about the world. I believe
this
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 trend will rise, and the
Internet
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 will soon be the sole source of
information
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 in the world. On the one hand, I believe traditional
newspapers
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 will remain the
favorite
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favourite
show examples
 source of
information
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 in the world.
Firstly
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, many
people
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 do not want or use the
Internet
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 before. To illustrate, old
people
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 who mostly communicate verbally, might not have an opportunity to get used to digital
information
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.
Secondly
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, traditional
newspapers
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 are more reliable than digital
news
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. The reason is traditional
newspapers
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 are written by professional journalists and checked strictly.
Moreover
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, many
people
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 love holding
newspapers
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 and drinking coffee in the morning to start their day.
However
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, many
people
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 prefer online
news
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 because of the convenience it provides. The
Internet
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 allows us to reach
news
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 in real time from wherever we are, whenever we want. To illustrate,
people
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 with busy schedules do not have enough time to buy a newspaper,
therefore
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 online
newspapers
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 become a better alternative. Another key benefit of online
newspapers
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 is the ability to provide
colorful
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colourful
show examples
 pictures and videos.
For instance
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, to determine the strength of the earthquake, videos are included in online
news
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 to describe visually the devastation.
Additionally
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, the cyber newspaper is considered to be more environmentally friendly. Traditional
newspapers
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 which are mainly printed on paper can contribute to the rising level of litter in urban. In conclusion, online
newspapers
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 will rise for the next few years
due to
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 their convenience.
However
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, traditional
newspapers
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 still play an important role in the source of reliable
information
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.
Submitted by nguyenhung1705mmt on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Consider providing a clearer distinction between the ultimate stance of the essay in the introduction and conclusion to enhance coherence.
Coherence & Cohesion
Strengthen the transition between paragraphs to improve the flow of the essay.
Task Response
Ensure your thesis statement aligns with the conclusion and that they both consistently present your position.
Task Achievement
The essay provides relevant examples, such as the use of videos for news visualization, which strengthens arguments.
Task Achievement
The points mentioned in the body paragraphs are relevant and support the essay topic, demonstrating understanding.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the argument effectively.
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