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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

‏In many countries, schoolchildren are required to wear school uniforms. ‏Do you think this should this be enforced in all schools?

#‏in #countries #schoolchildren #school #uniforms #‏do #be #schools
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Students
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 are asked to put on their uniforms when they present at
school
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 in a large number of countries. I agree that it has benefits,
although
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 it shouldn't be carried out in all schools. Wearing the same clothes helps decrease the huge gap in wealth between rich kids and poor kids,
therefore
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 allowing every schoolchild to grow healthily in both physical way and mental ways.
According to
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 a survey conducted by Harvard University,
students
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 who studied in a relevantly equal atmosphere performed better than those who experienced a huge wealth gap, for they were willing to communicate with others and take part in activities.
Accordingly
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, they were given a precious opportunity to explore the world by themselves among peers and grow in an all-around way for the same shirts they all wore. In conclusion, wearing uniforms is capable of improving
students
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' growth by decreasing the wealth gap. It is helpful for them to stay focused on their study or their
school
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 activities since they don't have the urgency to care about their outfits, and because of
this
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, their
school
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 performance can be improved.
For instance
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, if it is unnecessary to consider what to wear every single day, there will be plenty of time left,which we can make full use of
it
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apply
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to concentrate on our studies or our participation in an event.
As a result
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, our
school
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 performance can greatly be promoted.
However
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, when it comes to colleges, there is no need for us to make it a regulation. Universities should be a place, where there are few limits, for
students
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 to cultivate themselves freely. With the freedom they get from how to wear and what to wear, more inspiration will come out. What's more,
this
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 provides them with a chance to learn how to dress properly in different situations which they seldom practised before, and it comes out to be practical.
Overall
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, putting on the same clothes as everyone else facilitates schoolchildren's growth and promotes how they behave at
school
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.
However
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, it is unnecessary for university
students
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 to look the same because they need to learn manners. After a thorough analysis of
this
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 topic, I think that
this
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 should be enforced in primary
school
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 and middle
school
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.
Submitted by 785220502 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, fully developed body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should contain one clear main idea with supporting sentences that directly relate to the topic.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices appropriately to link your ideas and paragraphs together, such as conjunctions, pronouns, and linking phrases. This will enhance the flow of your essay.
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Expand on your main points by providing more detailed explanations, evidence, and examples. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
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Fully address the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument and clearly stating your own opinion. Make sure your opinion is consistent throughout the essay and supported by the points you make.
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Make sure examples are specific, relevant, and effectively illustrate the point you are trying to make. Avoid general statements that do not directly support your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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