IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Students at schools and universities learn far more from lessons with teachers than from other sources such as the internet, television. To what extent, do you agree or disagree with their opinion.

#students #schools #universities #lessons #teachers #sources #internet #television
These days, virtual education is making learning very fast and convenient for
children
.
However
, opponents believe online class makes
students
 learn more efficaciously than in the classrooms,
whereas
 I do not agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
 statement and believe
classroom
 learning is more efficient than e-learning. Indubitably, studying online
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 things easier and effortless for individuals as they can replay the missed course with just one click.
Moreover
,
students
 can study at ease from home and without any prior setup.
Therefore
, cognitive
skills
 significantly
cascades
Change the verb form
cascade
show examples
 with online courses and
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
 in fostering analytical
skills
. Certainly,
classroom
 learning inculcates the habit of asking the mentor about the topics face to face, which gives
detailed
Add an article
a detailed
show examples
 analysis of the subject. Ostensibly, personal touch stimulates
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
student behaviour by asking doubts at the school and solving them in the presence of the teacher, which infuses
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
confidence in them.
Subsequently
, studying in a group promotes collaborative learning and enhances critical thinking
skills
.
Apart from
this
, teaching style can be modified
according
Add the preposition
according to
show examples
 the student issues as teachers keep on taking
feedbacks
Fix the agreement mistake
feedback
show examples
 from the
children
.
According to
 research by
UK
Correct article usage
a UK
show examples
 studies organization, it was observed studying in classrooms
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
children
in building
Wrong verb form
build
show examples
 important personality and
career building
Add a hyphen
career-building
show examples
skills
.
In addition
, inside a
classroom
,
students
 experience social interactions with peers and establish rapport with teachers. Helping
children
 develop socially is an important aspect within the realm of academic education.
To conclude
, I reiterate
classroom
 learning encourages logical thinking and
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 to induce
students
 to
working
Change the verb form
work
show examples
 in a group and inspire
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
 prioritize their work.
Submitted by Khushboo Sambyal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that your response directly relates to the prompt and fully answers the essay question.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs to improve overall coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: