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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school on 1982,1991 and 2001.

the three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school on 1982,1991 and 2001.
#three #show #changes #uk #school
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The pie charts illustrate how the yearly cost changed in a certain school in the
Unite
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United
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 Kingdom
among
Change preposition
in
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 1981, 1991 and 2001.
Overall
Linking Words
, the proportion of teachers’ salaries still remained the highest to school spending and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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insurance kept the least part of all.
While
Linking Words
 the expenditure
in
Change preposition
on
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 equipment and insurance increased significantly, a decrease can be seen in the percentage of other workers’
wage
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wages
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 and resources
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
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 books. The largest proportion, teachers’ salaries,
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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rose slightly from 40%
in1981
Correct your spelling
in 1981
 to 45% in 2001 with some fluctuation in 1991.
Similarly
Linking Words
, there was a drop
of
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in
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 furniture and equipment from 15% in 1981 to 5% in 1991 before growth to 23% in 2001. There was
a
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an
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 upward trend
could
Correct pronoun usage
which could
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 be found that the expenditure on insurance grew to 8%
at the end
Linking Words
 of
this
Linking Words
 period.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the salaries of other
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
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 declined from 28% in 1981 to only 15% of spending in 2001. But the cost of resources like books rose by 5% from 15% to 20% in the middle of the period,
then
Linking Words
 fell to 9% in 2001.
Submitted by ZoeyChen on

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • budget allocation
  • educational expenditure
  • financial management
  • infrastructure investment
  • evolution of costs
  • annual spending
  • strategic funding
  • capital outlay
  • operational costs
  • resource allocation
  • fiscal trends
  • cost analysis
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