art and music are considered some of the fundamental elements of all societies. Do you think art and music still have a place in today's modern world of technology? Should children spend more time learning art and music at school?

#art #music #elements #societies #place #world #technology #children #time #school

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this

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day and age, most people are showing interest toward painting, sculpture, dance as basic needs in their life and feel as a stress release after a hectic work schedule. In my opinion, despite the development of the technology, I believe that

art

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and

music

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still play a significant role in our lives and more

time

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should be taken by student to study it.

Although

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, machinery has made our lives become easier, it is a double edge sword. In fact, it has created new business, industries that did not exist previously and job opportunities for numerous of people.

However

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, it has

also

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introduced stress into our lives. Most people now are having demanding jobs that drain all of their energy.

Music

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and

art

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enable them, to relax their mind by listening to the smooth rhythm after an exhausted day of work. In my opinion, I believe that children should not concentrate all of their effort on the main subjects, but

instead

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they should take more

time

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on painting or having

music

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lessons. There are several reasons why students should be dedicated more

time

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in school for learning

art

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and

music

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Firstly

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art

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and especially

music

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are very motivational and spending more

time

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art

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would help children focus on complex subjects

such

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as math or physics.

In addition

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to inspiring children, the teacher would be able to identify the student who may have a natural talent in singing or painting in order to guide them on the path to the future. In conclusion, I strongly agree that

art

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and

music

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even today play an indispensable role in most individuals. It is

also

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necessary for young generation to show enthusiasm and learn it. As parents and teacher, it is our responsibility to explain the importance and allow them to study these fine arts if they are really interested.

Submitted by Tony Duong on Sun Jul 05 2020

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8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

308 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural identity
cognitive benefits
emotional expression
mental well-being
mindfulness
human connection
creativity
critical thinking
discipline
collaboration
economic contributions
academic performance

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art and music are considered some of the fundamental elements of all societies. Do you think art and music still have a place in today's modern world of technology? Should children spend more time learning art and music at school?

Unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs ( for example, working for charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to the younger children) To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually empahise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is positive or negative development?

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweight the disadvantages?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. [545]

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and wether they are married or single some people say that this information may be relavant and useful.Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your openion.