IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

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Working independently is what many prefer rather than working for other companies and organisations these days. There are plenty of benefits which can launch individuals on the path of self-employment.
However
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, it inevitably has some drawbacks too. In
this
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 essay, both
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
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 and cons of
independently
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independent
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 working are discussed. To talk about advantages, it is significantly more beneficial for individuals to
work
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 for themselves regarding flexibility and the potential for financial profits.
That is
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,
people
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 can easily reschedule their working time and daily plans based on their preference
,
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apply
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 if they are self-employed.
for instance
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, a self-employed designer can
work
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 remotely in a cafe or even on a familial trip. What is more, there is always more potential to profit enormously as a self-employed person compared to those who are working for
the
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apply
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other authorities with a fixed monthly salary.
People
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 working independently have definitely the chance to go beyond their expectations and earn a huge amount of money only if they
work
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 hard and are good enough as it is fairly impossible for those who
work
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 for others.
On the other hand
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, working independently has some considerable disadvantages.
Firstly
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, self-employed
people
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 have much more responsibilities and have to manage different aspects of their
work
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. They must not only be familiar with some marketing skills but
also
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 be able to handle financial tasks.
Furthermore
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, they may face some challenges
such
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 as financial insecurity. Self-employed
people
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 may sometimes not earn a considerable amount of money especially when they have
initially
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 started their
work
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 and are not known enough.
Overall
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, many
people
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 prefer to
work
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 independently
instead
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 of working for other institutions as it is more flexible and has a better potential for making money.
However
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, they may encounter some problems
such
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 as financial instability and enormous duties.

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task achievement
Ensure that all points in your introduction reflect the content of the essay clearly. Consider refining your thesis statement to summarize the main points more explicitly.
coherence and cohesion
Try to enhance the linking of ideas between paragraphs and sentences to improve the flow of your arguments. This can help readers follow your ideas more easily.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to back up your claims, especially in areas discussing the financial benefits of self-employment. This helps strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear viewpoint on the topic and addresses both advantages and disadvantages, showing a balanced approach.
coherence and cohesion
You have good topic sentences that clearly outline the main ideas of each paragraph, helping guide the reader through your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employment
  • freelancing
  • entrepreneurship
  • autonomy
  • financial stability
  • work-life balance
  • financial insecurity
  • lack of support
  • resources
  • long working hours
  • uncertain income
  • job security
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