Young people now spend far too much time and money on following fashion trends (such as technology and clotting) to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #time #money #fashion #trends #technology

During early era, clothing was included in basic need of every human being to cover and protect themselves from for harsh weather the Mother Nature had to offer. But times have changed.

This

simple need I'd a man become

fashion

Suggestion

a fashion

nowadays.

It's

Suggestion

Its

influence on people from all

gender

Suggestion

genders

and all ages, especially on

young

Suggestion

the younger

generation. I totally agree with

this

statement that young people spent cost on trending clothes

regardlessly

Accept space

I will put my points to prove my statement. In my opinion, often we see actors and models in commercial advertisement, newspaper and magazines. They are in fashionable and high branded clothes so many people try to makeover like them. But is

become

Suggestion

becoming

expensive for

ordinary person

Suggestion

ordinary people

the ordinary person

because celebrities wear big branded clothes by professional designer and they do not repeat again. So it's affordable for those who belong from

film industry

Suggestion

the film industry

. They promote that brand and they gain

money

through

this

but people like us we can't gain anything. Here, I would like to give

example

Suggestion

an example

the example

of my friend. She is fashionable lady and she spent her 50% of salary to purchase same attire as Alia

bhatt

Suggestion

Bhatt

have

Suggestion

has

. Because the only reason is Alia Bart her favourite actress so she compare herself with Alia. It's better if she spent

money

on books or education rather than costly cosmetics and clothes.

Secondly

, fashion is changeable trend by its nature. Today's trending style will change tomorrow. So, obviously it is

waste

Suggestion

a waste

money

. It is not only about

clothing even

Accept comma addition

clothing, even

in technology. People buy valuable Mobiles and gadgets to show high status. But the day after

Accept space

another new technology will come and the old one will be done disappear. Pursuing fashion isn't actual

bad

Suggestion

worst

thing. But spent broader amount of wage on every trending one it's bad. I believe to wear comfortable clothes

instead

of spending high value. I prefer that

money

to save for my future or investment.

Submitted by jahanvi jani on Sun Jul 05 2020

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

319 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

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Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Young people now spend far too much time and money on following fashion trends (such as technology and clotting) to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

It is important for everyone including young people to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Sample Question Version 02 (Discuss both views) : In many countries, young adults are engaged in some kinds of work. Some people regard this as completely wrong. Others consider it as a valuable experience, important for learning and taking responsibilities. Discuss both views.

The Biggest Mistake of This Generation Is Running Behind Pretty Faces and Ignoring Good Hearts

Around the world children learn English language as a second language at school. however, in some places they also learn at Kinder garden. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of learning at kinder garden?