It has been noted that many people who had a big impact on the world gave themselves completely to their work and did not bother with the idea of “work-life balance”. To what extent should people try to have a good work-life balance? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #impact #world #work #idea #“work-life #balance” #work-life #balance

It is observed that those who exerted a great influence on the world dedicated themselves entirely to their professional

life

and ignore the concept of "

work

life

balance". Personally, unlike the message these people conveyed, I believe that addressing a balance between

work

and social

life

is of paramount importance. Forefront among the reasons to support my view is the fact that working without a break often leads to long-term physical and mental health problems.

For instance

, office staff who regularly

work

unsocial hours to meet deadlines have been reported to suffer from

deteriorated

Suggestion

deteriorating

eyesight and alerting levels of stress. In Japan, stress from working has

also

been cited as the reason a considerable proportion of young people suffer from depression and in some cases, committed suicide. These problems can potentially undermine not only productivity at

work

in particular

but

also

the entire workforce, in general.

In addition

, it is worth noting that there is more to

life

than just working. One of the fundamental reasons why people constantly push themselves to the limits at

work

is so that they could make a better

life

for themselves and their family. While having a high degree of commitment to one's career might give them more chances for accumulating wealth, it often comes at the price of quality time with friends and family.

This

could lead to feelings of isolation and regret later in

life

. An example to illustrate

this

point is Steve Jobs, who prior to his passing expressed his tremendous regret at having allocated his hours to only his

work

instead

of allowing more time for his daughter. In conclusion, I am convinced that

work

life

balance is an essential part of society as the lack of it could damage not only people's mental and physical health but

also

their social bonds. Votes

Submitted by Nhung nguyễn on Sun Jul 05 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

301 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Well-being
Productivity
Fulfilling
Time management
Prioritize
Burnout
Boundaries
Dedication
Personal fulfillment
Efficiency

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