For school children, their teachers have more influence on their intelligence and social development than their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#school #children #teachers #influence #intelligence #development #parents

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It is often thought that

teachers

have more impact on children’s intelligence and social improvement rather than their

parents

. Personally, I partly agree with

this

statement

due to

the fact that the role of

parents

can not be ignored. On the one hand,

parents

have undeniable influence over their children

instead

of educational stuff. It is obvious that

parents

play a significant role in every aspect of the development of a child’s life. They are the first mentors since birth. So,

this

implies that

parents

elaborate on talkative skills and intellect.

Moreover

, mother and father guide youths, discuss and talk with them through

Change preposition

apply

show examples

all spheres of life.

Besides

, they prepare them to deal with failures and motivate them to communicate with other people. It is clear, that

parents

have some influence on children.

On the other hand

, juveniles spend time not only with

parents

but with other people too especially with

teachers

To begin

with, from

Correct article usage

the

show examples

moment a child goes to school he or she will

frequent

Change the word

frequently

show examples

with teaching staff. School

teachers

help them to exchange their knowledge and communication skills. They direct them on a daily basis, providing any kind of information and encouraging them to talk with classmates.

In addition

, they inspire them to do various logical quizzes, exercises which expand comprehension and games which are aimed at developing communicativeness.

For instance

, a lot of people develop sociability after school. It is obvious, that

teachers

also

have an impact on children. Taking everything into consideration, I believe that educators have a key role in the enhancement of young’s educational and social skills.

However

, the influence of

parents

should not be underestimated.

Submitted by dementevas256 on Fri May 03 2024

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Task Achievement

Introduction presents a clear thesis, but more specific examples in body paragraphs could strengthen your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

Integrate more varied transitions to improve the flow between ideas and paragraphs.

Task Achievement

Consider including a wider range of examples directly related to the impact of teachers and parents on children's development.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay demonstrates a good structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Task Achievement

You've adeptly balanced the discussion by examining both views, contributing to a well-rounded response.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

275 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

foundational role
structured influence
critical thinking
problem-solving skills
appetite for learning
curriculum
learning styles
socialize
cooperate
navigate social norms
underestimated
role models
confined
academic year
life lessons
formative years
moral and behavioral development
supportive home environment
reinforcing

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For school children, their teachers have more influence on their intelligence and social development than their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

While choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this idea?

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To wht extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys?

Food travels thousands of miles from producers to consumers. Some people think that it would be better for the environment and economy if people only ate the local food produced by farmers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for spots or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician.