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Band 7.5

Some people think that work is the most important thing of people’s life. Without the success of career, life become meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #work #people’s #life #success #career
While it is argued that a distinguished
career
 is regarded as the most pivotal thing in a person’s
life
, I strongly believe that there are other factors which can make people’s lifetime become meaningful. On the one hand, it cannot be denied that working plays an important role in one’s
life
. According to an annual survey carried out in the UK, a person spends about 25 or 30 years on their occupation,
hence
 working time accounts for nearly one
third
 of a person’s
life
. So if people obtain a worthwhile job that blooms, their lifetime is likely to be filled with human well-being.
Additionally
, the state of being stuck in an unsuccessful
career
 might have a destructive influence on people’s spirits. Those with turbulent
career
 or experience of job dissatisfaction could suffer from chronic stress and discouragement, which affects adversely their mental and physical health, as well as making them have a negative outlook on their lives.
On the other hand
, I contend that there are more desirable goals rather than a successful
career
 to attain in our
life
. A vast majority of people perceive a meaningful
life
 as helping others living in poor and underprivileged conditions. They spend most of their lifetime devoting to charity work.
Furthermore
, there are other people who do not enter the workforce, but seem satisfied with their lives. In some Asian countries
such
 as Japan, dual-income families are not as common as that in Western nations. Take Japan as a telling example, men are often the breadwinners while women stay at home, take over the responsibilities related to household chores and childcare, which make them feel content as a well-established tradition. In conclusion, while undoubtedly people can benefit enormously from a glittering
career
, there are still a lot of significant factors which might enable them to lead a happy
life
.
Submitted by Mai Tran on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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