In many countries, women are allowed to take maternity leave from their jobs during the first months after the birth of their babies. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #women #maternity #jobs #first #months #birth #babies

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In most parts of the

world

Add a comma

world,

show examples

females are granted q break from

work

Use synonyms

after the delivery of a new baby. I argue that the downsides are more serious than it advantages and

this

Linking Words

essay will elaborate more on them. On one hand, there are numerous benefits of allowing women to take some leave from

work

Use synonyms

after welcoming a baby.

Firstly

Linking Words

I believe

this

Linking Words

would help the infant to be stronger and

healthy

Replace the word

healthier

show examples

since the mother has enough

time

Use synonyms

to breastfeed them exclusively and take very good care of them.

This

Linking Words

would go a long way to even save the government from spending huge budgets on pediatric hospitals and medicine because their mothers get ample

time

Use synonyms

for the child, so the infant will not frequently fall sick.

Also

Linking Words

when mothers are on leave they are able to bond well with family and the baby which enables them to relax from the stress of

work

Use synonyms

and the difficulties I

endure

Wrong verb form

endured

show examples

during my pregnancy. For , example throughout my pregnancy I was depressed so the leave I got after delivery helped me to recover quickly as I spent quality

time

Use synonyms

with loved ones and my child.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, I think that

this

Linking Words

development has more negative effects the positive ones. I am saying

this

Linking Words

because when women are off duty

due to

Linking Words

family reasons it results in low production in the workplace as their absence will cause a shortage of staff.

This

Linking Words

will directly affect the company's revenue generation and the country at large. It will cause more funds to employ new workers in other to boost production or could pay the available workers extra money to

work

Use synonyms

for more hours.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, when they take a break from

work

Use synonyms

they still pay them,

this

Linking Words

money could be used for something else is not fair. For ,instance after welcoming my first child I stayed home for about 6 months I was still recovering my salary. In conclusion, in most ,nations females get some

time

Use synonyms

off

work

Use synonyms

after delivery. I am of the opinion that the drawbacks of the situation outweigh its benefits and I have clearly discussed them in the essay.

Submitted by yeboahsamuellaabban on Thu Apr 20 2023

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task achievement

Consider revising your thesis statement to clearly state your position. For example, use language such as 'the disadvantages outweigh the advantages' or 'the downsides are more significant than the benefits'.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to clearly illustrate your points. For instance, provide data or case studies about companies or countries that have implemented different maternity leave policies.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and sticks to it. Avoid mentioning unrelated ideas within the same paragraph. For example, discussing family bonds and personal stress in the same paragraph might make it less focused.

coherence cohesion

Work on improving the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs to enhance readability. Use transition words and phrases more effectively, such as 'Furthermore', 'Additionally', or 'On the contrary'.

introduction

You provided a well-structured introduction and conclusion, which outline your main argument clearly.

coherence cohesion

The essay presents a good range of vocabulary and attempts to discuss both advantages and disadvantages of maternity leave.

task achievement

Your arguments regarding the benefits of maternity leave like infant health and maternal well-being are presented well.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

359 words

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In many countries, women are allowed to take maternity leave from their jobs during the first months after the birth of their babies. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Computers are becoming an essential part of school lessons. Do the advantages of using computers for learning outweigh its advantages?

Your workplace does not have a parking area for cars, and it is causing some problems. Write a letter to your manager and include the following: – Describe the problems it has caused. – Explain what benefits a parking area would bring to the company. – Suggest a solution.

Some people think that the government should provide free public libraries in every town, while others think that this is a waste of money because people can access to information on the Internet. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that purchasing imported agricultural products has a positive effect, others think consuming domestic products is better. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?