IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many people think that money is important to achieve happiness. What is the importance of money to happiness? Give reasons for your answers and include examples from your experience.

#people #money #happiness #importance #answers
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As is the belief of most,
happiness
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 is the most important aspect of existence, and
money
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 is the cornerstone of being happy.
Nevertheless
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, it is my opinion that while
money
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 does have the power to purchase convenience, true
happiness
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 can never be attained with monetary prowess alone.
This
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 essay will discuss the long-debated relationship of
happiness
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 with
money
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.
Money
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 serves as an end to our means. So, being monetarily stable ensures that one can afford the various comforts and conveniences that comes along with it,
thus
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 contributing to overall satisfaction in the long run. Riches
also
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 provides security, which in turn eradicates fear and instability. To reinstate my point, owning a car is much more convenient and comfortable than relying on public transport alone, which can only be possible with an individual being financially stable.
Hence
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,
money
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 can purchase convenience, which provides an illusion of
happiness
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.
However
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, not all
happiness
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 can be attributed to one’s monetary status. The core human aspects of
happiness
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such
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 as love, peace and contentment cannot be attained solely with the act of cash changing hands. Research by the WHO stated that undiluted
happiness
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 is more commonly associated with children who still have not yet grasped the concept of
money
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, as compared to the general public who devote their lives trying to decipher the quantity of
money
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 which shall be enough to make one happy. So,
money
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 is an end to our means and not the destination. In conclusion, while
money
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 can create the illusion of being happy, true
happiness
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 cannot be forged with the power of the currency alone. Despite the general perception of
money
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 being the base on which
happiness
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 is built, I opine that monetary might can never
deliver the
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deliver, the
 more humane and finer aspects which gives birth of real
happiness
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.
Submitted by Arnab on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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