It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. Do you agree or disagree?

There is no denying the fact that nowadays, it is very important for everyone, including young societies, to save
money
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for their future.I totally agree with that, because saving salary for the future is good in emergency situations.
In addition
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to that, people who work can save a
part
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of their
money
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to spend it after they retire.
To begin
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with, saving
money
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for emergencies is so important. If the person saves a
part
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of his
money
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for emergencies, he will not need to ask for
money
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in these situations, so he will avoid being embarrassed by people.
For example
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, if a person had to make an important surgery and he had a
part
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of his
money
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for emergencies, he can pay for the surgery and he will not need to ask her family or friends to lend him an amount of
money
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.
Additionally
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, saving
money
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to use after a person retires is something important, that he will not need to ask anyone
such
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as his working son for
money
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or even ask a charity.
In other words
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, a retired man who saved a
part
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of his
money
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to spend after retiring will not need to ask for
money
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and he can buy anything he needs.
For instance
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, if a person’s salary is 20000 riyals per month, and he saves 5000 riyals each month, he will end up with 60000 riyals every year.
As a result
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, he will have saved a huge amount of
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to spend later, and at the same time, he will be interested in his salary. In conclusion, saving
money
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for the coming has a big effect on communities’ lives. In my opinion,
this
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is a great thing that we can do in the present to save our future, and we need to teach our children how to save their
money
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.

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task achievement
Your introduction states your opinion, but it could be clearer. Make sure to clearly outline your main points at the end of the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use clearer linking words to connect your ideas, such as 'firstly', 'next', and 'finally'. This will help the reader follow your arguments better.
coherence and cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures to make the writing more interesting. Some sentences are quite similar in length and structure.
task achievement
Your examples are relevant and help support your main points effectively.
coherence and cohesion
You present a strong conclusion that summarizes your opinion well.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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