IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people prefer to buy local product while other prefer international product tho what extend do you agree or disagree

#people #product #tho
Nowadays it has been
debatable
Suggestion
a debatable statement
debatable stated
debatable stating
statement
 from
last two decades
Suggestion
the last two decades
.
Accept space
.
some
Suggestion
Some
 people
are preferring
Suggestion
prefer
 to wear international products while other completely averse.
the
Suggestion
The
 modern world has given their priority to important clothes and footwear's
.
Accept space
.
I am going to elaborate both side
statement
 in
substantial paragraph
Suggestion
a substantial paragraph
 before
given
Suggestion
giving
 my perception. To inaugurate with the contemporary
world especially
Accept comma addition
world, especially
youngsters are
Accept comma addition
youngsters, are
 more conscious about their outlook
.
Accept space
.
thus they
Accept comma addition
Thus, they
Thus they
mostly preferring
Suggestion
are mostly preferred
are mostly preferring
mostly prefer
 branded clothes to enhance their style
statement
.
Accept space
.
for
Suggestion
For
instance if
Accept comma addition
instance, if
 an individual attend the party until branded dress
,
Accept space
,
everyone pointed out that the person belongs to a financial weaker section.
consequently it
Accept comma addition
Consequently, it
Consequently it
 has been a status symbol among society
.
Accept space
.
Secondly
Accept comma addition
Secondly, although
although
 a group of people
have
Suggestion
has
 to spend a hefty amount on branded commodities yet it will valuable and long lasted
further
.
Accept space
.
apart
Suggestion
Apart
 from that
this
 trend has been
increased
Suggestion
increasing
 rapidly
.
Accept space
.
On the contrary
,
Accept space
,
 who averse the use of global products
,
Accept space
,
their
in or at that place
there
 are multifarious reason
,
Accept space
,
 substantially the local products are cost effective rather than other nations
.
Accept space
.
further
Suggestion
Further
 more if society will purchase domestic
meterial
the tangible substance that goes into the makeup of a physical object
material
materials
,
Accept space
,
it would be certainly
upgradation
 in
financial
Suggestion
the financial statement
statement
 of our nation.
despite
Suggestion
Despite
 for more local production government has made multifarious
movement
Accept comma addition
movement, such
such
 as (go local
)
Accept space
)
 and so on
.
Accept space
.
beside
Suggestion
Beside
 companies should more focus on quality and comfortability of the product
.
Accept space
.
 In the way of conclusion
,
Accept space
,
both statements have
Thier
of them or themselves
their
 own
peacularities
an odd or unusual characteristic
peculiarities
 pros and cons
.
Accept space
.
so
to a very great extent or degree
So
 it is necessary to make long lasted product for enhancing their
sale
Suggestion
sales
.
Accept space
.
Submitted by Jatinder Kaur on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: