Public celebration such as national day festival are held in most countries .these often quit expensive and some believe that government should spend money on more useful thing agree or disagree essay

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays the various
festival
Suggestion
festivals
and national
day
Use synonyms
celebratef in throughout
Suggestion
celebrated throughout
celebrated in throughout
the world
.
Accept space
.
which
Suggestion
Which
is quite expensive due to on
exobident level
Suggestion
the exorbitant level
exorbitant level
expedient level
of celebrations
.
Accept space
.
some
Suggestion
Some
people believe that government should spend money to improve the infrastructure and health services. In
this
Linking Words
essay am going to illustrate both of views in substantial paragraphs
,
Accept space
,
before giving my perception. To commence with the national
day
Use synonyms
and festivals
are belongs
Suggestion
belongs
to our traditions
,
Accept space
,
values and cultures.The Diwali celebrated in all over the nation because people are strongly
connecting
Suggestion
connected
their sentiments with it.
Linking Words
secondly it
Accept comma addition
Secondly, it
Secondly it
is the vitally important to aware our new generation about history
,
Accept space
,
and sacrifice of our ancestors.
Linking Words
thus it
Accept comma addition
Thus, it
Thus it
is mandatory to recognize the
indipendent
Suggestion
independence
independent
Independence
day
Use synonyms
among the youngsters and upcoming generation.
they
Suggestion
They
should know about the historical sacrifices of freedom fighters
,
Accept space
,
eminent leaders who took a part in
freedom
Suggestion
the freedom
of the nation.
apart
Suggestion
Apart
from that
instead
Linking Words
of wasting money on extra
expences
amounts paid for goods and services that may be currently tax deductible (as opposed to capital expenditures)
expenses
authority can
constructed
Suggestion
construct
museums and make a
movies
Suggestion
movie
to awaking youth. On the flip side
,
Accept space
,
the various troubles which are hovering on the society
.
Accept space
.
Linking Words
for
Suggestion
For
instance 'women safety"
,
Accept space
,
our renewable resources which are almost on the verge of extinction. The government should take
active intrest
Suggestion
an active interest
active interest
active interests
active interested
in these areas.
Linking Words
further
Suggestion
Further
more the
environment
Suggestion
environmental
confition
a state at a particular time
condition
is becoming a detrimental
day
Use synonyms
by
day
Use synonyms
.
Accept space
.
Linking Words
for
Suggestion
For
example the global warming has been increased
,
Accept space
,
ice caps melting rapidly
.
Accept space
.
Linking Words
consequently these
Accept comma addition
Consequently, these
Consequently these
are alarming a threat on
globally
Suggestion
a global
global
.
Accept space
.
the
Suggestion
The
festival
,
Accept space
,
national days should be celebrated but they can reduce the
extravanges
Suggestion
.
Accept space
.
By the way of conclusion
,
Accept space
,
the both
statement
Suggestion
statements
have their own
peacularities
an odd or unusual characteristic
peculiarities
,
Accept space
,
pros and cons
.
Accept space
.
everything
Suggestion
Everything
can be possible to
maintained
Suggestion
maintain
the limited budget.
it
Suggestion
It
is
also
Linking Words
prominent that allocate some money on other construction for enhancing the strength of
nation
Suggestion
the nation
a nation
nations
.
Accept space
.
Submitted by Jatinder Kaur on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: