It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environment, such as the South Pole. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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As technology has developed,
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
can now travel to remote natural areas.
While
this
trend is beneficial to some extent, I would argue that its disadvantages are more significant. On the one hand, visiting isolated natural
places
has some benefits.
Firstly
,
this
is a newer and more interesting type of travelling. Since going to other cities or countries has been too common for most individuals , it might be more exciting for them to explore new
places
such
as the South Pole or the Amazon rainforest.
This
gives them valuable experiences and unforgettable memories.
Secondly
, when visiting remote
places
, people, especially scientists, might acquire more knowledge about the natural habitat.
For example
, when coming to the North Pole, scientists can learn about the life of polar bears which live far away from humans.
On the other hand
, I believe
this
development has far more drawbacks. The first one is that travelling to remote natural spaces can be risky if the travellers are not sufficiently prepared.
For instance
, the temperature at the South Pole is usually very low, which adversely affects pupils' health. Travelling to forests can
also
be dangerous as citizens have to face the risk of being attacked by animals.
Also
, since visiting isolated
places
often requires a large amount of investment in researching and ensuring the safety of travellers, the costs of travelling tend to be high.
Therefore
, it seems like only scientists and rich society can afford
this
activity, so
this
development is likely to benefit only a small group of individuals. In conclusion, I believe the disadvantages of people being able to travel to remote locations outweigh its advantages
Submitted by nezerli.x12 on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph clearly supports your main argument or viewpoint. Improve the logical progression between ideas in your paragraphs.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and develop your ideas more comprehensively to fully address the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly stated, making the essay structure easy to follow.
task achievement
You address both advantages and disadvantages, showing a balanced consideration of the task.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • remote natural environment
  • scientific research
  • climate change
  • environmental preservation
  • economic benefits
  • conservation efforts
  • habitat disruption
  • pollution
  • cultural disruption
  • indigenous populations
  • commercialization
  • safety risks
  • personal enrichment
  • ecosystems
  • awareness
  • appreciation for nature
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