People should be allowed to continue to work as long as they want to, and not be forced to retire at a particular age such as 60 or 65. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #work #age

People are being forced to retire when they reach their

retirement

age

of their country.

This

age

is between 60-65 in almost every country. I strongly disagree to

this

Notion. In

this

essay, I will talk about why

retirement

age

is not necessary and why people should retire whenever they want.

To begin

, retiring at a specific

age

without consent can cause some financial problems. Every

persons

Suggestion

person's

working life is different. Some earn plenty while others

work

hard to buy food so they won’t suffer of famine.

Consequently

, financial

statues

the relative position or standing of things or especially persons in a society

status

can change person to person. So they got to

work

longer than others.

For

example according

Accept comma addition

example, according

BBC

Suggestion

the BBC

, citizens of

shanty town

Suggestion

a shanty town

shanty towns

in Brazil, never quit working at their

retirement

age

, they

work

until they got abundant money to spend their lives.

Secondly

, many people

work

for making

sufficent

of a quantity that can fulfill a need or requirement but without being abundant

sufficient

significant

money and want to retire as soon as possible.

However some

Accept comma addition

However, some

people love their

work

so much that they dedicate their

life

Suggestion

lives

to their job. For them, their payment is not crucial. Forcing those people to retire at a specific

age

is keeping them away from what they enjoy

to do

Suggestion

doing

For instance

, Al Pacino is a

succesful

having succeeded or being marked by a favorable outcome

successful

american

of or relating to the United States of America or its people or language or culture

American

actor who is 80 years old and hasn’t retired at America’s

retirement

age

(66 years, 2 months). In one of his interviews, he said that acting gives him joy to live. To conclude

Accept space

in my opinion there shouldn’t be a specific

age

to retire. People should make their own decision

individualy

apart from others

individually

with thinking their dreams and future.

Thus

, people won’t be forced to do something they don’t want to do.

Submitted by Alara İnan on Wed Jul 08 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

267 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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People should be allowed to continue to work as long as they want to, and not be forced to retire at a particular age such as 60 or 65. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Many people believe that learning a foreign language is avery difficult task. what are the most difficult things about learning a foreign language? What are the best ways to overcome them?explain an include your personal experience or knowledge of these problems.

Some people think that school children need to learn practical skills such as car maintenance or bank account management along with the academic subjects at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Working long hours causes a great deal of stress and can be very bad for the health. The government must find a way to reduce this thype of stress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Research into new medicines and treatments is essential. Should this research be paid for by private companies or by the government?