IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfacory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try to improve such situations.Give your opinion.

#people #situation #unsatisfacory #job #shortage #money #situations
Most of us believe that it is better to live with some problems like an inappropriate work or with less
money
, while others think that we have to make some efforts to improve our
life
.
This
 is a very debated topic that often divides opinion and from my point of view we have to earn
money
 in order to have a good quality of
life
 for us and for our family. Nowadays, we live in a century where we have a lot of opportunities to improve the way how we live.Young people have learned since at a very young age that if they want to reach the success in
life
 is necessary to learn how to earn
money
 and for
this
 is important to have a good job.A good job not only that brings a good financial situation, but gives some satisfactions.
For example
, a well paid job
lead
Suggestion
leads
 to a better
life
, to a lot of possibilities of how to spend the free time or how to improve your knowledge.In
this
 world, there are many people who accept their faith, even if is not good, they do not make any effort to change it.
This
 is because in many cases
this
 person is from poor families without education.
Furthermore
, there are people who prefer to have a simple
life
, with less
money
 and without anything that includes modern items, they prefer to stay in nature and to avoid the busy cities.For them
this
 is a way of
life
.
On the other hand
, even if
money
 brings us a lot of satisfactions and a good
life
 we do not have to forget that
money
a quantifier that can be used with count nouns and is often preceded by 'as' or 'too' or 'so' or 'that'; amounting to a large but indefinite number
many
 do not bring happiness.From time to time we have to do good things like charity, volunteering.We have to accept that we can live better with very little
money
,
this
 is up to us to be happy. To conclude, I sustain both of
this
 view to some point, but I support the idea that we have to improve our
life style
a manner of living that reflects the person's values and attitudes
lifestyle
 every day.
Submitted by mioara81.p on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: