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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Schools should cut out music to focus on subjects such as information technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#schools #music #focus #subjects #information #technology
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It is held a concept that schools ought to take the
subject
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 like
music
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 out in order to focus mainly on other subjects,
for example
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, information technology or academic
subject
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. From my point of view, I do not agree with
this
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 idea for many reasons, described in the following paragraphs.
To begin
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 with the value, the
music
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subject
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 is one of the most pleasurable subjects for many students by helping many students to recharge their batteries after they are being tired of coping with a lot of academic subjects,
for instance
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, mathematic or sciences, and
thus
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 the
music
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 theater or even the musical class is one of the great places for the social gathering of students that want to do the same activities.
Moreover
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, they are capable of communicating and sharing a lot of things in their lives for relaxing themselves from the stress during the class from that place. There is an idea that the institute should reconsider about changing the position of the
music
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subject
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 to be non-compulsory and alternative
subject
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 due to the fact that many students are forced by the
school
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 to learn
this
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subject
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instead
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 of the opportunity to choose on their own.
For instance
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, the hours of learning
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music
Suggestion
the music subject
subject
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, which is necessary for the grade in
school
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, and if they miss the class, they might get resigned from the
school
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. In
this
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 way, pupils can have their own choice to select what are they really interested in, and go for it with the full of happiness. In conclusion, I strongly disagree with
this
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 viewpoint since it seems to me that
music
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subject
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 is important and should not be cut from the
school
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 from considering its value of
this
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subject
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, which is numerous.
Submitted by NAT NATTANAN on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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