IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people are of the opinion that there should be a car-free day once every month, on which no private vehicles are allowed on the road. Discuss the advantages and possible disadvantages.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
According to
Linking Words
 a few individuals, the public roads should be unoccupied at least once
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a month.
The automobile
Correct article usage
Automobile
show examples
 transportation and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
non-government transporters should not be permitted on the highways. To an extent, having no movement of
four wheelers
Add a hyphen
four-wheelers
show examples
 for a day will have its own merits and demerits Once in a
while
Linking Words
, controlling the road network will have some benefit on the environment by minimizing air pollution. As we know various mixtures of noxious gases are emitted by the vehicles
such
Linking Words
 as carbon monoxide, which have affected the health of human beings distinctly by causing various respiratory disorders.
Apart from
Linking Words
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
this,
show examples
 it has
also
Linking Words
 had bad impacts on the surroundings as well.
Hence
Linking Words
 restraining
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
transportation will help
in reducing
Wrong verb form
reduce
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pollution to some extent.
For example
Linking Words
, the toxic substances released by these vehicles have started to affect the ozone layer and
worsened
Wrong verb form
worsen
show examples
 the greenhouse effect. To restrict the vehicles for some
time
Use synonyms
 may cause conflicts among people to some extent. In an emergency situation,
while
Linking Words
 transferring a bleeding patient to the hospital, a person will not prefer to use public transportation, rather, they would like to reach their destinations on
time
Use synonyms
, in their own vehicle.
For example
Linking Words
, in developing countries like India, there are lots of remote villages which do not have frequent access to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
government buses.
Hence
Linking Words
 during a crisis, it is better to use a personal four-wheeler
instead
Linking Words
. In conclusion, trying to control the traffic by limiting the usage of two-wheelers and four-wheelers will definitely contribute
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 reducing the ecological impact
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 global warming. But at the same
time
Use synonyms
 completely restricting the locals to
opt
Wrong verb form
opting
show examples
 for public services during
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
 of urgency may turn
in to
Correct your spelling
into
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
fear.
Hence
Linking Words
 the rules should be different for an emergency.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Although your essay has a good structure, some points need clearer explanations, and examples should ideally be more specific. Make sure that each paragraph addresses a single main idea coherently with sufficient support and examples.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the scope of the essay and your conclusion summarises your main points effectively. Both are good in your essay but can be slightly polished for clarity.
task achievement
Ensure you stay on topic and address all parts of the task. Provide more developed arguments and examples to fully support your points. This will help in making your ideas clearer and more comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Good use of logical arguments and examples relevant to the topic, especially in addressing environmental benefits and potential emergencies.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear structure with a distinct introduction and conclusion, making it easy to follow your train of thought.
task achievement
You've provided various ideas and examples that touch upon both the advantages and disadvantages of a car-free day, which shows a balanced view.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: