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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people are of the opinion that there should be a car-free day once every month, on which no private vehicles are allowed on the road. Discuss the advantages and possible disadvantages.

#people #car-free #month #vehicles #road
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According to
 a few individuals, the public roads should be unoccupied at least once
in
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apply
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a month.
The automobile
Correct article usage
Automobile
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 transportation and
the
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apply
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non-government transporters should not be permitted on the highways. To an extent, having no movement of
four wheelers
Add a hyphen
four-wheelers
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 for a day will have its own merits and demerits Once in a
while
, controlling the road network will have some benefit on the environment by minimizing air pollution. As we know various mixtures of noxious gases are emitted by the vehicles
such
 as carbon monoxide, which have affected the health of human beings distinctly by causing various respiratory disorders.
Apart from
this
Add a comma
this,
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 it has
also
 had bad impacts on the surroundings as well.
Hence
 restraining
the
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apply
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transportation will help
in reducing
Wrong verb form
reduce
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the
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pollution to some extent.
For example
, the toxic substances released by these vehicles have started to affect the ozone layer and
worsened
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worsen
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 the greenhouse effect. To restrict the vehicles for some
time
 may cause conflicts among people to some extent. In an emergency situation,
while
 transferring a bleeding patient to the hospital, a person will not prefer to use public transportation, rather, they would like to reach their destinations on
time
, in their own vehicle.
For example
, in developing countries like India, there are lots of remote villages which do not have frequent access to
the
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apply
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government buses.
Hence
 during a crisis, it is better to use a personal four-wheeler
instead
. In conclusion, trying to control the traffic by limiting the usage of two-wheelers and four-wheelers will definitely contribute
in
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to
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 reducing the ecological impact
on
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of
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 global warming. But at the same
time
 completely restricting the locals to
opt
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opting
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 for public services during
the
Correct article usage
apply
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time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
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 of urgency may turn
in to
Correct your spelling
into
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a
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apply
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fear.
Hence
 the rules should be different for an emergency.
Submitted by rajasingh on

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coherence cohesion
Although your essay has a good structure, some points need clearer explanations, and examples should ideally be more specific. Make sure that each paragraph addresses a single main idea coherently with sufficient support and examples.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the scope of the essay and your conclusion summarises your main points effectively. Both are good in your essay but can be slightly polished for clarity.
task achievement
Ensure you stay on topic and address all parts of the task. Provide more developed arguments and examples to fully support your points. This will help in making your ideas clearer and more comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Good use of logical arguments and examples relevant to the topic, especially in addressing environmental benefits and potential emergencies.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear structure with a distinct introduction and conclusion, making it easy to follow your train of thought.
task achievement
You've provided various ideas and examples that touch upon both the advantages and disadvantages of a car-free day, which shows a balanced view.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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