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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Advertising aimed at children should be banned. To what extent you agree or disagree

#children
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Currently, advertisements have caused noticeable influence on our daily lives. I firmly agree with the statement that commercial advertisings that focus on children should be prohibited as they might adversely affect
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 generation's perception and value. One of the most obvious reasons is that children usually lack the ability to think independently. In most cases, juniors tend to absorb knowledge whatever they access, without making appropriate judgement.
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, some misleading campaign might negatively influence children's perception of the world.
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, some advertisements which claim that their products can empower consumers the ability to fight with criminals.
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, when encountering a criminal, young consumer who use that product may actually try to stop offenders by themselves, rather than report to the police, which is extremely dangerous to their lives. Another reason is that these advertisements might encourage juniors to particularly pay attention to name brand of commodities. With the widespread of the advertisement for a particular product, an increasing number of students might start to adopt
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 fashionable trend.
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, due to the economic disparities in different families, not every household has the privilege to purchase advertised items for their children.
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 is especially true for those from disadvantaged backgrounds due to the relatively prohibitive price.
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, youngsters who can afford to buy expensive toys might not want to share them with the ones who cannot.
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, discrimination might occur among these juniors. To sum up, I strongly believe that campaign, which mainly focuses on young citizens should be strictly limited because of the damaging effects they brought to the
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 generation.
Submitted by caozhen_work on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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